Lived Experience Forum

[PeppiPatty]

Dear Peace,
some people have said some horrible things to you.

Thinking about how to get you to love you.

[kristin]

Hey @peace 

I am horrified at the things these people are saying to you. Bloody disgraceful! There's so much shame and self-blame with MI anyway - who needs this too? Arrogant idiots is spot on, unfortunately their venomous words are like limpets on the psyche - not so east to shake loose.

Please be kind to yourself - you need it after that crap.

Kindest regards,

Kristin

[PeppiPatty]

Dear Loopy,

Oh dear.

It's not your fault.
I'm wondering what to write to you because I feel though you know ....."their problems are not yours.'
Just to let you know but I actually began writing this a few days ago but am struggling with my medication so misplaced this message......I've been doing this a bit lately.
So I'll begin my answer:

This is my observation, you may or may not agree
But it feels like you have.......you are on the edge of........
Becoming more confident.

The reason why I write this is for two reasons.

1; there are everyone in your story with their own personalities. You have not confused your self with the woman who was bad to you .......she was her and You spoke of yourself reacting by crying.
Neither did you write it was your fault but wrote....."I felt like a total loser."

Also, you identified someone being good to you.....and wrote of being grateful.

Good stuff.
This is only my observation, you can agree, disagree or.......just write

[peace]

Wow thank you @PeppiPatty and @Kristen it is so very healing to be heard. I also hear the enpathy which is so truly comforting.its taken years before I realized that a lot of what I was experiencing was beyond me. The rush of 'up's' the dangerous 'low's' and the crippling fear.. I try not to blame myself anymore but some days are harder than others I appreciate the kindred spirit of this forum.

[PeppiPatty]

Dear Peace,
It's a long journey to like yourself. It starts with trusting people when they are kind to you. Then, you have a base to work on......that's how I see it at least......sometimes can take up to 3 years for people who have been very damaged.

not for you though,"....your name....'peace,' what images does that bring u for you?

[Loopy]

justanother47yr, on the money, but after what I went through in my last employment those words I spoke off are the last you need to hear. Result, the demons all rush out together and it is so overwhelming that I needed to get to my sanctuary in a hurry. The stupid thing about me I have moments of wisdom and all the "so called normal thoughts"surprising not only me but those around me but they don't last long. I know what it is like with medications only too well but no two cases are the same, I am sad for you because on top of everything else the one thing you don't need is the thing that is supposed to help actually makes you feel like crap for a time. I can only assume you are young but either way very wise and intuitive. Where did that word appear from.

I am grateful for your comments,

loopy

[PeppiPatty]

I'm grateful for your comments too.
You messages have also changed Loopy. I don't know how or why but it feels like your writing like someone standing on your own two feet.. I can't explain why but they tell a story now. Maybe that is what makes me feel they are more like a person standing on his own two feet.

Yeah, we all have stupid moments .......I try to limit them to one per day but usually don't succeed.
I'm not good with this medication thing.
As far as I know, Loopy, I've always worked in jobs I can leave very quickly because of my son's illness. But that ended 4 years ago. I thought I needed medication because of my high panic life....he would just collapse at school and that's it.

So it felt right to move on and also cut down on this very high dose. It feels like no one knew of how stressed out I was.....even my Mum was bellowing away one day about three months ago and I said....please don't affect my mental health.
She got a huge stop in her tracks and has been working hard to be more present for me.
So have my brothers.
I spend a lot of time alone...I like it like that.

But I still need to work on that ' this is me. I'm a very proud consumer which means I have accessed mental ill health agencies in the past" and not whisper to myself....because of ........ But be proud it's me. No more even a tinge of blame.

So, Loopy.... You and your talkative messages have been interesting for me and have enjoyed reading them. Yes, you assume right I'm young 47 years old. I have no 'What do you do for a job, ' talk because I don't identify with a great....I'm a really kool school teacher/lawyer. I cleaned homes for years and worked in the area as a carer aide.
I know the new stuff about mental health because when married, I worked very hard to understand it.

Your moment of wisdom are good stuff.

I hope your having a cup of tea. Cups of tea are good.

[PeppiPatty]

I know why I feel your messages have changed ! Where are our darling moderators.........can you people back me up here?

It's in this sentence......'the stupid thing about me I have moments of wisdom and the so called normal thoughts....." You wrote about your normal thoughts first! You need to work on..'the stupid thing about me ......
But.....
You then write.....so called normal thoughts.....
Awesome. Like you just another person living life like everyone else.

[Loopy]

Just another47yo
I was policeman
Loopy.

[PeppiPatty]

Was this on channel 2. Last week, about some policemen having PTSD ?