Lived Experience Forum

[AIW]

Hello,
I'm new here 🙂
I am currently experiencing depression and anxiety. After some time of struggling alone I have found a group of counsellors/psychs that are helping and they have put me in touch with a support group in my area. As much as this is all great I still feel incredibly sad that my husband won't step up and support me. Each time I have shared how I'm feeling it has been used against me. Does he not care?
Has anyone else felt let down by those closest to them? If so, how have you dealt with it?

[Queenie]

Hi @AIW. I guess I am lucky now with my gf, we have our disagreements but generally she is supportive of me and my journey to recovery. However having said that, I have been in past relationships where my partners would use my illness (I have schizoaffective disorder) against me. I even had one ex-partner tell my case manager lies about me in order to have me hospitalised so they could go out and party guilt free. 

Have you thought about inviting your husband to some of your sessions with counsellors and psychs? I have found this extremely beneficial in my current relationship, as it allows both of us to remain on the same page so to speak. 

I'm sure your hubby does care about you, but he might be confused by what is happening for you and be not sure how best to support you. 

[Lunar]

Hello @AIW,

I'm sorry your partner isn't understanding of what you are experiencing at the moment that must be hard to not be validated and coping on your own. I think what @Queenie said is very helpful, or even bringing him to the support group could be worth a try?

It's great that you have found a group of counsellors and psychologists that are able to give you that extra support when you have been struggling alone. Perhaps in your sessions you could also work on ways of getting your partner to understand or ways that he can support you such as by doing things around the house or nice activities together?

Lunar 🙂

[Former-Member]

hello @AIW @Queenie @Lunar

I empathise with your situation for both of you.

I have in the past worn both hats.

Now I am back to me.

My husband has had varying reactions swinging towards showing empathy at times then back to "he has had enough".

Joint visit to your specialist is very good. We did that.He did tell my psychiatrist that he still didnt understand but felt a little more comfortable about my situation.

We are going through a very bad time at the moment and that is because I slid back into the dark depths of depression for about 9-10 days. I am climbing out but am being hit with external circumstances and am now feeling that "i have had enough".

We have a joint appointment with a lady from an organisation I found out about through Carers Australia. Each states have different names so try Carers Australia and explain what you are looking for.

Try reading some of the Carers Forum posts as well to look at the other perspective.

I wish you all the best. Hang in there.

[pip]

Dear @ AIW. As Queenie has already clarified, sometimes, those nearest to us, fail to understand the depth of our depression. Your hubby possibly cares, more so than he shows, but because he can't 'feel' what you feel, he is unable to comprehend your feelings of his lack of support. If your hubby is willing to accompany you to your support group, this would be beneficial to both of you. Failing that, could you get some brochures re: mental health from your G.P? Most G.P's do have brochures re: mental health, etc available.