Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[jayskette]

Hi everyone. Who has mental illness and is also a carer for someone with mental illness? How the heck do you cope? Thanks.

[Rockpool]

Hi @jayskette,

Such a great question and it would be great to know what other people to do to cope! 

It sounds from your post that you have not been coping too well with trying to support your loved one while also managing your own mental illness.  What sorts of things have you been doing to try and cope?

[Bimby2]

I was a carer for a close relation who had a mental illness and I also suffer with depression/anxiety. I think talking things out and agreeing to mutually support each other goes a long way in caring for each other. Communicating with each other is vitally important and being there to comfort in the down times does really help. Hope this gives help to those needing each other's support with the challenges mental health well being can bring. Best wishes to each forum member. Bimby2

[Appleblossom]

A lot depends on the particular blind spots in each party and whether it is a peer to peer relationship or parental.

[pip]

I feel that carers and sufferers both need care. The carers burn out from lack of support, the sufferers often feel left out of things because of the inability to cope. If the carer has anxiety issues/depression and cares for a MI sufferer, who is there for both of them. The carer needs de-briefing to continue supporting the person with the illness.

[Shaz51]

Hello @jayskette

that is a good question

How are you today ?

[jayskette]

my sister who has schizoaffective bipolar anxiety etc is in hospital again. my mum is in hospital with her and cant cope and need to cancel her intended overseas trip to look after grandma. grandma is anxious not hearing from sister and calls them nonstop. i live interstate and was supposed to come visit next week to take mum to airport and receive grandma from airport. im running out of leave and most likely will take leave to look after all 3. dad who has schizoaffective social withdrawal etc etc dont care, he has the social skills of a teenager. meanwhile my current work is plunging me into the deepest anxiety and depression ever. my husband who has bipolar and anxiety has a few shifts at work so it looks like his situation is on the up but im scared the casual nature of it will cause him to lose routine and therefore make his MI worse. im the only one that isnt so severely affected by my MI but i feel the pressure to keep everyone relatively mentally healthy and being the breadwinner with mortgage i can sense my MI going down. sigh. thanks for reading that far.

[KJW]

Often I don't cope and I get tired of pretending to cope or stuffing my own stuff down. It is mighty tough when it forces itself to the surface and demands to be dealt with. Today has been the third day straight in bed dealing with IBS, CFS flair up and other stuff tied in with my own mental health issues. I hate it when my BPD daughter starts copying my symptoms or trying too, as a way of demanding attention. I get really irritated by that. It's like I can't even deal with my own stuff in peace.

[KJW]

Book all of you into a nunary or respite facility for rest and make sure yours is a different one to the rest of them!

[Former-Member]

hello @jayskette @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope

I have just found your post and cannot begin to imagine how you are feeling.

The pressure on you is tremendous.

Have you had any responses?

Just wondering if a couple of other carers might be able to help you.

If I have got this wrong and have responded incorrectly I apologise in advance. I am not doing too well at the moment.

I did not want you to feel that noone cared though.

I hope you have some assistance already as this was a couple of months ago.