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Looking after ourselves

M_P90
Senior Contributor

Trauma Responses?

Hi all! 

I have C-PTSD and recently have worked super hard to get my eating disorder (ED) into remission. I used ED behaviours to tune out of my trauma so here I am being knocked by it with no crutch!! I can only describe these trauma responses as either being a car crash. Time seems to slow down but also speed up, I can't think and there's this almost screeching, metalic noise. I feel out of control, even though realistically I am in control, especially these days I'm very good at managing it without impacting my goals negatively. But it friggin sucks, and I wonder if anyone can resonate with this? I find it so hard to explain to people. 

3 REPLIES 3

Re: Trauma Responses?

Hi, @M_P90 , sorry to hear 😞

 

I am impressed that you've managed to subdue your ED - wow, very difficult, well done. 

 

Am also impressed that you're facing your trauma, huge kudos to you. It's very painful, I know. But it's the way through to some healing. 

 

I hope you're walking through this with some professional help/counselling? I think you are...Sorry if I can't remember, my memory is shot these days.

Re: Trauma Responses?

Good Evening @M_P90 ,

 

I can certainly relate to what you are describing. 

 

I've had various traumas in my life so that pretty much, I'd find myself reacting negatively to everyday occurrences.

 

It was a bit of a process, but with my therapist, I underwent exposure therapy to desensitise me from my fears. Not that my fears are not longer there, but now, I don't jump into fight/flight/freeze mode. I am more in control which means I can make a difference to how I want to behave.

 

I'm not sure if I am on the right track. My therapist started the work, and I had to continue it at home on my own.

 

tyme

Re: Trauma Responses?

Yeah, it's rough.  For me there's almost like this crunching sensation in my bones, if that makes sense?  Everything feels raw and painful, which is just plain uncomfortable!  I get that we're supposed to say 'how interesting!' and not run away from it, but that's a really hard thing to do.  You're doing amazing.  I've been trying to face my own trauma lately but comforting/soothing myself with 'problem behaviours'. 😞  Going to try and schedule in some pleasant activities for myself to try to stop myself from indulging in problem behaviours again. 

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