Lived Experience Forum

[Malen]

For those that have followed my dribble lately, you know that my routines are pretty important to me and I have found it more difficult to manage without them with the situation with my sister. 

Anyhow, this morning I woke up at 5am, routine starts at 6am and thats what happened, at 6am I started my routine and finished at 7:30am, bang on time. It was like an injection of energy, I felt so much better, kinda like I was complete. 

I still dont feel well, I mean it  didnt fix the stomach pain, my back still hurts like hell but mentally I feel so much better, less broken which means dealing with the pain and the sick and the everything else so much easier.

Now for the day routine, that mainly consists of short walks. With my back pain walking is a bit of an issue. I can only manage a short period at a time. I dont often really do a shop at the grocery store, Im often limited to the first few isles, so I tend to go to the same grocery store each time cause I know I can get what I need without going far. If its bad or Im walking a long distance or even an unknown distance I use a walking stick, I used to feel ashamed of that, I mean Im 43 and I have been using a stick for years. I have a disability permit and I often get stares with that. But hopefully its like a week or so and that will be a distant memory but I digress

I have a break period included in my day routine, a chance to breath and try and regroup. I want to add a few more. Breathing  excersises have always bothered me, I dont know why but they have, through the past few months, thats all I have had. While they dont stop the mayhem they do give you a moment and a few moments over the course of the day add up.

My night routine is sorta broken up into doing the dogs and one of my meds and then an hour later, charging my watch, taking meds and eating tea. I generally do this routine because well the dogs gotta eat, so do I and I need my meds. The timing seems to change a bit based on how tired I am but  I do want to go back to the correct times and go to bed when Im supposed to though there may need to be a few changes as one of my new meds acts quicker than my old one which means Im a bit drowsy and wonky earlier so either I have meds and tea later or go to bed earlier,  Im not sure yet.

My med that I take at 4:30pm means that Im not allowed to drive for 12 hours, which dampens the already on life support social life. Though this is for pain and all going well that will be managed with regular surgeries. The one Im waiting for lasts about 6-9 months and then you have to repeat, kinda crap especially with a $2k price tag (I get around $950 rebate)

But then the night meds at 7:30pm thats the end of me for the day. Very shortly after the drowsy and wonky feeling sets in and I am of little use to anyone. I just make my way to my bed and sleep.

Both the 4:30 and 7:30 medication ritual bugs the crap out of my family, like it is a regular issue. I go to bed too early. I cant drive to pick up tea when eating out. I dont really understand why, I mean I would rather not have another Brief Psychotic Episode etc and Im sure they would rather not have to deal with it either but they want to complain about how to stop it, it blows my tiny little mind