Lived Experience Forum

[Down2]

Hi, I went to my psychologist the other day. We are working on inner child work for all the unsafe feelings I’ve had in my life. (Which give me anxiety ptsd)

affirming things like

I’m holding you tight.

we’re together.

you’re safe with me.

i’m here for you.

(adult me) I’m in charge.

etc.

Do you have any other ideas please?

There will come a time I’ll approach my stepfather over the phone re him looking at me innapropriately; with his tongue hanging out. Gross. That in itself id giving me anxiety.

It brought up lots if unsafe feelings from the past. I’m tied to him financially. I dont want to remain passively distant (aggresive) even though my adult self is grossed out/angry.

I’m sad. My psychologist said I’m mourning.

TIA

wish I could think of more of you if you know others that would have ideas please put the @…., thank you my support friends xo

@Jynx  @Fluffy01  @Shaz51  @Flotsam  @Kyle1 

[MDT]

unfamiliar with you situation
but sending my best your way @Down2

[ShiningStar]

Hi @Down2 

I just wanted to reach out to offer you some support 💜

In my experience, inner child work can be really challenging and confronting and as such, I just wanted to say that I think that you’ve taken an incredibly brave step to start to work through some of these issues 💜

Just from what you’ve shared (and I’m so sorry if I’ve misunderstood you 💜) it sounds as though you’re working with your Psychologist to strengthen your connection with your healthy adult part, so that (in time) you’ll be better able to take care of and soothe the younger child parts who may be feeling scared, worried, alone etc.

In my experience, learning how to do this can be really tricky and it’s something that I’m still working on too 😊

Funnily enough, one of the things that really helped me was giving my younger parts a name 😊 As such, I refer to them as little ones and by doing so, I’ve found that it’s easier for me to connect with them and respond to them in ways that are really nurturing and compassionate 💜

Wow! I really love some of the phrases that you’ve come up with to soothe and affirm yourself - what a great start!

I’ve just been thinking about some of the things that I say to my younger parts and I’ve just shared a few of my thoughts with you below in italics 😊 Please feel free to use anything that you like the sound of ……..

It’s ok little one. I’m here now and I’m going to take care of you / help you.

I’ve got you.

You’re not alone anymore. I’m right here with you.

You’re safe here with me.

It’s ok little one. I can see how scared / angry / worried you’re feeling right now and that’s ok. I’m here to listen and understand and I’m going to help you with all of your big feelings.

I’m so sorry to hear about some of the things that have happened to you and as I listened to this part of your story, I can really hear how deeply you’ve been impacted by your stepfather’s behaviours. As such, it’s completely understandable that the mere thought of talking to him brings up so many powerful and distressing thoughts and feelings for you.

Mourning the things that we’ve lost as a result of some of the things that have happened to us in our lives can be incredibly painful and as such, I just ever so gently wanted to encourage you to be kind and patient with yourself as you continue to work through your experiences with the care and support of your Psychologist 💜

I really hope that this helps you a little bit and please remember that you’re always welcome to reach out to us here whenever you need to 💜

Take care,

ShiningStar 💜

[Down2]

@ShiningStar 

Thank you for your lovely support/reply. I really appreciate it.

I like that.. ‘little one’ naming. And the support suggestions.

Yes, I’m more depressed than mourning. As it’s rare that I can cry at this point. Only occasionally with the psychologist. The morning fear is exhausting. I’m practising the adult affirmations a few times a day atm. Thanks again Shining Star. Xo

[ShiningStar]

Hi @Down2 

It’s so lovely to hear from you 💜

It was my pleasure to share a few ideas with you and I’m so pleased to hear that some of them were helpful 😊

I’m so sorry to hear that you’re feeling depressed and in my experience this can be a really difficult and lonely place to be 💜 Sometimes (for all sorts of  reasons) it can be really difficult for us to cry. As such, I just ever so gently wanted to reassure you that being unable to cry in no way means that you’re not mourning or that the losses that you’ve experienced in your life aren’t significant 💜

Oh Down22 💜 I’m so sorry to hear that you’re feeling scared 💜 In my experience, fear can be an incredibly powerful and debilitating emotion to sit with and as such it’s absolutely no wonder that you’re feeling exhausted 💜

Just from what you’ve shared, it sounds as though the fear that you experience is worse in the morning and as such, I just ever so gently wondered if I’ve understood this correctly?

Wow! That’s great that you’ve been practicing the adult affirmations a few times a day and I really hope that in time, you’ll start to notice some positive changes in relation to how you’re able to respond to and take care of the ‘little ones' 💜

I really hope that the week ahead is a little bit kinder to you 💜

Take care,

ShiningStar 💜