Looking after ourselves
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06-10-2021 11:46 PM - edited 07-10-2021 02:26 AM
06-10-2021 11:46 PM - edited 07-10-2021 02:26 AM
I need to write
I need to write.
My anxiety is through the roof. It's the worst it's ever been. It feels like my chest is going to explode. I can feel it in my whole body, even in my legs. My whole body is reacting to something.
It's strongest in my heart/diaphragm area but it is also in my stomach. I have a slight stomach ache. It feels like my body is buzzing.
And I can feel my heart beating in my chest.
And my mouth is dry.
I feel sad that this is happening to me. I feel sad and alone.
I tried to write but that is all I could say.
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06-10-2021 11:57 PM - edited 07-10-2021 02:55 AM
06-10-2021 11:57 PM - edited 07-10-2021 02:55 AM
I need to write
Hello @Flying_Hams
I'm over here. I'm having a very bad post-traumatic anxiety attack. I'm not okay.
(I'm not suicidal. I'm tired of having to explain to people that I'm not suicidal.)
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07-10-2021 03:24 AM
07-10-2021 03:24 AM
Re: I need to write
I made myself a cup of tea and took some Valerian Forte (herbal sedative) and I cuddled my Pug and told him how I feel.
I cried but only for a tiny bit. I can't feel or express my emotions.
There is a little girl
Inside me
Who is deeply traumatised
She has had
A very difficult life
It makes me sad
I wish I could
Have given her a better life
But I didn't know how
I didn't have the first clue
It's not my fault
That my parents were so f***ed
I know that intellectually
But still I blame myself
Perhaps that's why
I'm stuck in this mess
Because I blame myself
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07-10-2021 03:46 AM
07-10-2021 03:46 AM
Re: I need to write
I'm sorry to hear you're having such a rough night @Arizona
I'm glad you have your little dog with you to keep you company. I hope you can get some rest soon.
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07-10-2021 04:01 AM
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07-10-2021 07:13 AM
07-10-2021 07:13 AM
Re: I need to write
@Arizona I'm sorry to hear how bad your anxiety's been...severe anxiety really sucks...it's awful. 😞
I hope you wake up feeling stronger today...
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07-10-2021 07:35 AM - edited 07-10-2021 07:36 AM
07-10-2021 07:35 AM - edited 07-10-2021 07:36 AM
Re: I need to write
Thank you for your kind words @NatureLover
I started to feel better after writing about how I feel (my symptoms) and writing my poem. I'm in bed having a cup of tea with honey and I have my hot water bottle under my feet and my Pug is beside me. I have just bought myself a year's subscription to the Headspace app. I was a member for six years but I cancelled my membership because I didn't like the changes they made to the app and it became very expensive. I have decided to go back because I haven't been able to find any other meditations that I like. I'm going to do a 20 minute meditation for anxiety once I finish my cup of tea.
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07-10-2021 07:56 AM
07-10-2021 07:56 AM
Re: I need to write
@Arizona I'm glad you've started to feel better and are looking after yourself 🙂
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07-10-2021 08:56 AM
07-10-2021 08:56 AM
Re: I need to write
I did my meditation. It was quite hard. My mind was very busy. I will do another one later today.
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07-10-2021 10:30 AM
07-10-2021 10:30 AM
Re: I need to write
I know what it is to have a busy mind. I saw my psych on Tuesday Tuesday I have some delusion exercises to go through. It's sometimes a game of mental gymnastics isn't it?