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Looking after ourselves

Jenn4
Senior Contributor

Bipolar and romantic pursuits

Hey fam, hope you are all well.

 

Can I please have some advice on bipolar and romantic endeavours?

 

I am loosely romantically involved with a bloke, and it's difficult because when I am feeling good vibes generally, then I think, yeah, I think there is a lot of potential here, I could see us together, this guy has a lot of good qualities, I could see us together long term, I have thought in the past that I was in love with him

 

- and when I am feeling neg vibes generally, then I am like, nah, this guy doesn't fit the bill, we wouldn't work, it's bound to fail, I should break it off with him, I'm just leading him on. 

Sometimes I'll switch between them several times in a day, or a few flip flops a month or so, usually. 

He doesn't know I have bipolar, and I don't want to send him mixed signals and muck him around.

 

Please advise, wisdom much appreciated. 

Thanks

9 REPLIES 9

Re: Bipolar and romantic pursuits

Hello @Jenn4 Heart

Has this guy said anything about the way he wants to go at all 

@greenpea 

@Gazza75 

Re: Bipolar and romantic pursuits

We are both upfront with eachother about being into one another, I suspicion that he potentially loves me, but certainly couldn't say for sure. He lives in WA and I live in Tassie though, so this is the main prohibitive factor preventing us from being a legit couple. Neither of us would see anyone else being how we are. 

He's probably coming over to see me in March or so (which is an added layer of pressure).

 

(We did met and become friends in person (at church band camps - surely the most wholesome way to meet a suitor 😛)

Re: Bipolar and romantic pursuits

@Shaz51 , forgot to tag u)

 

❤️

Re: Bipolar and romantic pursuits

@Shaz51  We r still getting to know eachother though)

Re: Bipolar and romantic pursuits

@Shaz51  I think I want to tell him about my being bipolar, I think it's about time. I reckon he's maybe guessed if he knows a bit about it. I am hesitant though, mainly because both his parents have had stints in care for mental health (idk what variation) and he kind of cares for them, he still lives with them at 27 I think mainly for this reason, and I don't want him to feel like he has a lot of people in his life with rogue agent brains to care for. I think it will make life easier to tell him at this point tho. Maybe I'll just be up front about not wanting him to feel like he has to care for me (even though I would like us to care for eachother haha). Doesn't my feeling positive and negative about him when I am feeling positive and negative about life though.

Re: Bipolar and romantic pursuits

I'm gonna tell him, makes sense and I feel braver and like it's more thought out now (and the recklessness and confidence and whimsy of hypomania is at play hahah). This is what I'm about to send (and you can read more about my experience) 

 

"

 

Hey, the reason I can’t sleep is that I have bipolar 🤷‍♀️🤙🤙 idk if u have suspicioned this if u know some things about bipolar or so. It’s a romp. I have some meds that I can take just when I can’t sleep and they work real well for that purpose, they’ve been working wonders :ok_hand: these past few months, but I just started some other meds (this was my super mysterious plan from the other day that I was cagey as about, with the Cristiano Ronaldo gif) and seems like it’s no good to take them both at once even tho the doctor said it would be okay 🤷‍♀️. It’s pre’ rough sometimes and hectic sometimes, and overall heckers, I’m working on nailing it. (En passant (:ok_hand:) u should defs feel bad in light of this about teasing me about trying to sleep just before hahahah).

 

I was diagnosed end of 2018 and it’s only really been problematic since then. First half of 2019 was pretty up the creek. Main dilemma is the negs which come and ggoo (and I get super tired and it’s like my brain isn’t at all switched on and I barely have thoughts sometimes, and sometimes I can’t really get out of bed (hasn’t been bad on that last front for a while tho, apart from the other day when I combined these two aforementioned meds, but it is inherently episodic)). Mostly I don’t talk to u when I am feeling that way. Or anyone really, hardly at all.

 

I am working on it tho.

 

Certainly, please, I don’t want u to feel like u have to, like, care for me or so, or that doing so would be especially difficult, please don’t think that bc this is not the case (even though it’s good to care for eachother haha). I’m working on getting on top of it with a little help from my friends generally. 👍👍

 

This is is a nice article on bipolar (with lots of prime gifs) https://saneforums.org/t5/Forums-Blog/Four-misconceptions-about-Bipolar-disorder/ba-p/814886 SANE Australia is real good, and also the movie Captain Fantastic (is notwithstanding one of my favourite films, it’s so good) has a character with bipolar that’s quite accurate to my experience. It’s on Netflix. She kills herself tho (it's not really a spoiler it happens right at the start) so don’t freak out bc this is super unlikely in my case - she doesn’t seek professional help at all until it’s too late and I do see doctors and get professional treatment 👍🤙.

 

Information about me. Thanks for listening and for ur friendship!

 

"

 

 

Re: Bipolar and romantic pursuits

Haha I sent it but I think (even tho he is 3 hrs behind me) he's turned his phone off to go to sleep as he usually does bc it's like the open circle with the tick on messenger, so I'll have to wait til tomorrow 😛 

Re: Bipolar and romantic pursuits

Morning @Jenn4 

Thank you for sharing 

I am in far north Queensland

My computer has died yesterday, so writing to you by my phone 

Aww love to hear what he says 

One day at a time my friend

Hope you have a good day 

Re: Bipolar and romantic pursuits

@Shaz51  we just had a good chat about it. He's a good guy. Thanks for having my back!

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