Lived Experience Forum

[Historylover]

@chibam, 😊,I didn't get a notification in my inbox so I don't know what is happening there as it's not the first time that has happened. Something just brought me here for some reason. 🤔

I am sorry to read that you have so many suppressed feelings and have nowhere to express them to get relief and help. Me too. Great support on this forum but it can only go so far in helping us. We have to then help ourselves. For me, and no doubt, for you – I've done all I can for myself. It just gets me from one day to the next without resolution. Just more of the same.

I wish you would start a topic, @chibam, but I know the feeling about not being able to strike when the iron is hot. I compose wonderful letters to others when I am lying in bed that say, so well, exactly what I am thinking and feeling. In the morning the enlightenment has passed. I've become used to it. And, by the way, you don't 'rant'. We just need to express what is quietly eating away at us sometimes, with no outlet, then something touches at the edges of our own situation, or something we understand, and we vent. I don't think suicide attempts help @chibam or folks wouldn't be making half a dozen attempts. We just keep the 'helpers' in jobs. They are alright and that's all that counts for them.

I'm assuming you haven't seen a therapist for some time and are just battling along as best you can. That's what I'm doing. The psychiatrist I saw twice recently only served to help himself. He would've only started me off at the beginning again and delved into my privacy again. I don't want that. I want help with my current situation and the way forward. I just don't know what to do. By the way, I think 'cope' means example 3 – being able to put a pleasant face on our absolute distress and misery. I think there's a lot of it about.

I know how you feel as it is how I feel too. My life is miserable. My course finishes soon and I don't know what I will do then. Other courses start but my renovation will have to re-start and I can't lose time on a course while I meander between chaos. Just don't know what to do and the thought of having nothing constructive to do is dreadful. I'll just have to see how I can prolong my miserable life when the time comes. I can always find more courses in the near future.

I sincerely hope you have some nice people to share the festive season with and that, for a time, your spirits are lifted. 😊 I haven't done anything to lift your spirits by my post, but I just wanted you to know I understand where you're coming from and how you feel. I think of you often even when I'm not posting, and hope you are doing alright. I send you my best wishes to a kindred spirit. 😊

[chibam]

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@Historylover wrote:

@chibam, 😊,I didn't get a notification in my inbox so I don't know what is happening there as it's not the first time that has happened.

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Dang! The same thing happened with me the other day, too! I didn't get any notification of @HenryX 's post the other day, even though I was tagged in it.

I wonder if I should notify the mods of it, just incase it's a symptom of a larger-scale problem with the site?

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@Historylover wrote:

I am sorry to read that you have so many suppressed feelings and have nowhere to express them to get relief and help. Me too. Great support on this forum but it can only go so far in helping us. We have to then help ourselves. For me, and no doubt, for you – I've done all I can for myself. It just gets me from one day to the next without resolution. Just more of the same.

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Very true.

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@Historylover wrote:

I don't think suicide attempts help @chibam or folks wouldn't be making half a dozen attempts. We just keep the 'helpers' in jobs. They are alright and that's all that counts for them.

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I guess your right. I must admit, I can't think of any multiple-attempt stories I've heard of that have happy endings. Even the odd single-attempt story I've heard that turns out well typically owes it's happy ending to dumb luck.

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@Historylover wrote:

I'm assuming you haven't seen a therapist for some time and are just battling along as best you can. That's what I'm doing. The psychiatrist I saw twice recently only served to help himself. He would've only started me off at the beginning again and delved into my privacy again. I don't want that. I want help with my current situation and the way forward. I just don't know what to do.

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Quite right - I haven't seen any therapist since I was let out of treatment by my really bad one. I was only just thinking the other day that it's getting close to ten years now since I escaped that nightmare. How time flies when your having anguish.

As you say, the thought about starting off from scratch again and exposing myself to another potential abuser is a real deterrant for me seeking help again - even though help (real help) is what I desparately need.

I'm sorry to hear about your recent hardships with the mental health system, but at least you've gotten out early and haven't been roped in to a long-term ordeal.

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@Historylover wrote:

I haven't done anything to lift your spirits by my post...

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Probably more then you know, @Historylover . Probably more then you know.

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@Historylover wrote:

I think of you often even when I'm not posting, and hope you are doing alright. I send you my best wishes to a kindred spirit. 😊

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Aww! Thank you! Right back at you!

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[Historylover]

@chibam😊,well, for me, today is going to be a good one. I've got two weeks to weed out all the errors in my last assignment and it's so tedious. Does my head in sometimes, but when it's done, it is so rewarding. I really am having a ball with it. Lots of emotion – anger, disappointment, elation, frustration, tedium...but it's really good for me. Takes my mind off other things and stretches my abilities. 

Have a good day @chibam. The best you can muster for yourself. 😎