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Looking after ourselves

Re: A Good Article I Came Across

@HenryX — perhaps I didn't put it as well as I might have. I think the picture set the tone — like the cover of a novel, and lacking in a sense of 'true connection' to such a serious matter. 

 

It might have been more accurate to have said that, for me, it lacked a sense of true empathy from the author — like he regarded the man, and the subject, to be merely an object for study.  He didn't actually emotionally connect to it. 

 

That's the way it affected me and, as always, responses are subjective. I don't wish to comment further, @HenryX.

 

Feeling fine, thank you @Flying_Hams. Hope you are too.

 

 

Re: A Good Article I Came Across

Hello @Flying_Hams 

 

A strong message that you have sent here..

Aside from the article..

I say well done..

You have started a conversation that the majority of the world is frightened to  talk about including health professionals..

 

I would love to see the subject linked to all genders as well..(apologies if this is not the appropriate terminology...I am not attempting to demean or insult anyone I struggle keeping up with latest references in all area as I am not a frequent internet searcher.)

My reasoning for this is bring the subject to everyone...segregating further isolates the males...

include all people as having these feelings..

take away the statistics as well for this platform.

Focus more on the subject content and feedback ...thoughts from others..

 

Perhaps if this still comes across as insensitive a peer support worker or community guide

and I see that you are one yourself @Flying_Hams might help me out with the categorising above.

Thank you in advance..

 

Talking about it....how often do we hear that...

 

I realise that the author is talking about the differences between male and female in this particular article.

It has been known for a long time that there is a difference in wanting to talk and or feeling comfortable about doing so..

The reality is the conversation around this is not happening..

 

This might be happening on other platforms.

 

YOu have created an opportunity on this platform which is brilliant..

 

What do you think of the idea of a discussion with the community manager ...? @Daisydreamer ?

Where to from here scenario.. opportunities for further discussion?

 

Open discussion on a thread with a specific title...supported by community manager and peer support workers community guide...keeping in mind the fragility of the subject..including all...

If all can have a better understanding awareness...that helps people to start to notice others withdrawing...

there is also the fact of those left behind having to deal with such trauma...again not just males...

 

 

I believe this would be a valuable opportunity for a place moving forward for someone searching the subject if they might have thoughts around this subject...to  be able to quietly read some dot points perhaps..

not too much information...

 

This is a subject that I feel very much about as I have lost several people within my life in different capacities over the years..

 

It is also very real and is not going to go away..

 

As for the story telling in the article...personally I found that too contrived...almost fiction at a basic level..

Others might like the style..

The article itself is what stands out as being far more important...

 

An idea that came to me....

 

Thank you for reading this far..

Sophia 1

 

 

 

 

 

Re: A Good Article I Came Across

Two things become quite clear my friend @HenryX from what you've written here

Fristly, that meetings can be skewed to favour the desires of some individuals. I have seen this take place in workplaces as well. However, I also saw it in my current role that ends quite soon.
I can see how this attitude gets some of us further while leaving others behind. I don't think there is an easy answer because if there was then it would've been implemented now.
Its a sign of how some people get by maybe? I'm not sure. Again, I find myself coming back to your wisdom and experience.

I agree that corruption is not restricted to small countries - I think there is something of a corrupt nature in all of us - the dark triad, when not channelled, can be quite devastating. Reminds me of the notion of virtue vs vice. Yin and Yang. Good and Evil. Light and Darkness. We all have that in us and we are only human.

Something like suicide is a ripple effect on the community that person is in. I always imagined that even if someone lived in an isolated community in the bush, their absence would be felt still. There's something in us as humans that connects - this is something I realised at the height of lockdown. I think this could be where my empathetic nature comes from - an appeal or homage to our innate desire for human connection. MAybe this is why I can't stand working from home either hey?

Yes - financial figures would suggest that more services are provided. But its often how these services are engaged with, operated or similar. I recently applied to get a scholarship for peer support work studies. It did not eventuate because the person did not reply. I guess in the end it wasn't for me this time around and I'm okay with that because I would rather pursue other things at the present time.

Secondly, I love how you are very reflective and never hesitate to explain the rationale behind what you think and feel. I do appeciiate these long form replies because there is a lot of wisdom contained within.

Re: A Good Article I Came Across

Thanks to @Flying_Hams for sharing this article and for the great content note around it! And also to @Historylover @HenryX @Former-Member for the great conversation so far.

I think it's an interesting point @Sophia1 that suicide and suicidality affects different genders in different ways. There can sometimes be a risk when we talk about statistics of men versus women that we lose some of the nuance. I want to thank you for bringing this up in such a sensitve way.

For example, trangender and gender-diverse people also experience very high suicide rates. Whilst women are more likely to self harm than men. Is it my understanding that you would potentially like SANE to start a thread about these topics?

I think this might be a nice idea as it is also important to discuss the unique challenges that men face which the article our friend Hams shared does very well. And there is a chnace of distracting from those important issues if we bring discussions of other genders experiences into this thread. So it makes sense to have seperate spaces to talk about it, for sure! 

To summarise my long reply haha... Would you like a seperate thread started by SANE about experiences around suicidality that genders other than men experience? 🙂 


Re: A Good Article I Came Across

Hello @HenryX 

 

I had not read the follow on responses..

 

I did my usual fog brain...jump in with passion response that at times totally confuses everyone..

On some occasions has even brought conversations to a halt..

 

Again @Flying_Hams a good question to @HenryX 

 

Also your response, Henry, covered different areas to mine and very relevant ones..

I wish that I had read yours first.

However, we are on a mental health platform and most of us seem to take that into consideration if we are in a clearer mindset..

 

I feel as though now I am not explaining myself and I am not going to write anymore as this is a major issue that I am currently dealing with, within therapy..

 

Interesting responses to a subject that needs to be discussed.

 

Thank you

Sophia 1

Re: A Good Article I Came Across

Oh thank you @periwinklepixie 

 

I am so relieved to read your response..

 

I very much want that to be the case...

I have grave concerns around this issue for people..

I feel this deeply and for a safe place to be created on the forums about this subject would mean so much to me.

I also believe would help many who are not comfortable in expressing how they feel or writing about their emotions..

 

Thank you..

I thought that I had made a mess of my reply and was concerned that I would upset people and create a situation where nothing would eventuate..

 

I also appreciate the way you responded to me...Very respectful ...confirming...reassuring..

Again I thank you..

I am feeling very emotional about this...

However..I am safe ...I think that it is important to be aware of how I am feeling and recognise that it is okay to feel upset.

 

Sophia

Re: A Good Article I Came Across

Morning all

My reason for posting this article was really quite simple - I read it with interest and wanted to share it.

I actually had no intention of starting a separate thread or generating discussion around how different genders experience suicidal ideation. However, I would be happy to open that prospect.

Two things come to mind when we talk about this topic.

Firstly, I have seen people in real life say that "This particular group experiences this particular thing worse than other said group" and they never end nicely - it's almost as if there needs to be a collective acknowledgement from other groups that there is a hierarchy of misfortune and tragedy. And that only by acknowledging this can society move forward. I don't believe that for a second. Here is why - Life is hard by default. We are ultimately highly evolved primates on a rock in the middle of space. We still have an animal nature, however what stands us out from other animals is our conscious self, our self awareness, our insight and foresight. That's the starting point for all of us as members of this species called homosapiens. This however need not take away from our achievements, our empathy, our beliefs.

From there, each of us are diverse, unique individuals that bring lived experience and a range of views with us. We each go through traumas, tragedies, difficulties and rough patches - for whatever reason it may be, usually beyond our immeadiate control - and then we find a way to go forward.

I believe one can say this without being demeaning or dismissive of struggles people go through.

Secondly, generationally speaking, there is a marked difference between what my generation experience as males compared to what previous ones have experienced. Even people in their 30s have had different experiences. It may sound like a scapegoat, but essentially we have a situation where young men can and often are, categorised according to what they provide society, their family and their community. Fundamental to that is your status and your job. If you haven't a job - you are not deemed worthy enough. I think perhaps this attitude is changing in the light of increased understanding of the workforce and how skills are changing focusing instead on technical skills. But as well as this, there is a push for more women to enter the workforce - due to years of rigid gender role expectations and a culture that essentially said to women "you must be the child bearer". Such a view, in my 21st century opinion, is wrong. My philosophy of "Live and Let Live" stands in contrast to that dated concept of gender roles.

It's not a race to the bottom to see who has it worse in this life due to whatever reason. It's about helping each other understand the nature of our reality and showing empathy in this thing called "life". Toxic politics has no place in mental health.

I think I've exhausted my abilities for the morning

Re: A Good Article I Came Across

Absolutely @Flying_Hams I think you've hit the nail on the head that it is much more useful connecting over what we share and have in common than where we are different. 

My intention with supporting @Sophia1 's idea of a different thread was more that sometimes when we talk about what different groups experience as a general theme, it can become a bit messy and that sort of 'in-fighting' can occur where we compare and contrast who has it worse. I was trying to prevent as you call it anyone being 'dismissive of struggles people go through' by perhaps starting a different conversation where people could talk about these other topics instead of it potentially becoming an us versus you thing. 

 

I apologise if my comments cause any stress. I think what @Sophia1 and I were getting at is that everyone has unique perspectives as you said and that maybe having a space for those perspectives to be explored safely would be a good idea.

All said as someone who thinks very highly of you @Flying_Hams 
- periwinklepixie

Re: A Good Article I Came Across

sorry @periwinklepixie 

 

I just read your response again..

 

My thoughts were to have one thread for all..

 

I feel that in segregating any group of people there is risk for some feeling inadequate or not valued.'

 

I would like to see the world accept everyone's individuality...right to be themselves...at the same time have discussions around vital issues like this including all ..

all of us are still humans no matter what our individuality is..

 

Bring humans back together in one place so that we can also start feeling comfortable with everyone....no discrimination at all regardless of mind body culture faith and so much more..

 

A strong message of acceptance for all as an individual ...

rather than look at differences..

look past our differences and accept all as we are..

this might reduce some of the pressures that people struggle with in starting conversations...

help bring down some barriers ..

 

Does that make more sense..?

Re: A Good Article I Came Across

oh no this happens to me all of the time

@Flying_Hams 

I was writing my last reply at the time that you posted yours and therefore did not read yours..

 

 

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