Looking after ourselves
@BlueBay and anyone else
I was self analysing (as I usually do) and when I was writing a post realised that I have good disciplines (organised) for working and doing things but emotionally I'm not disciplined at all (which is BPD) but I'm going to try instead on focusing on BPD and everything that goes with it just to focus on a discipline such as my emotions. I was reading on the internet about emotional discipline and yes it is very similar to DBT (link below) but I thought maybe we deal with this from another angle. Instead of the BPD issue which reminds us constantly that we have a MI why dont we try and just discipline ourselves using this. Also we could even try doing a reward system.
Eg. @BlueBay set a goal for today or tomorrow and say I wont react with this emotion today lets say rage or what ever comes up the most in your daily life and then when the end of the day comes and you have achieved not reacting in that way - reward yourself with a treat (time out, icecream chocolate, drink etc) but if you dont achieve it you go without.
This way to us if we fail we cant have our treat or whatever it is that is your reward, so we teach ourselves to obtain the reward we need to adhere to some disciplines.
I figure we have grown up with no emotional discipline (ie. our emotions were never listened to, discussed or even understood) so we stumble through life not really being disciplined (obviously there is a lot more to it) but I thought maybe if we simplified it more it could take the confusion away.
Would be interested in hearing everyone's thoughts on this.
@BlueBay or anyone else if your interested in doing this with me why dont you let me know tomorrow and I will do the same in this thread and we can share what we will reward ourselves with tonight. If we do this every week day with each other and be "accountable to each other" by reporting in it may help us get some disclipline.
OK today I will not let rage get to me at work today.
If I accomplish this I will have 1 brandy & coke tonight (I dont drink a lot so dont worry but I love the taste of brandy)
http://www.feelingeverything.com/emotional_discipline.html
Oh I realise with the replies people may not be able to from work or whatever and thats fine.
@BlueBay well I really enjoyed my brandy last night and no guilt because I earned it - actually changed my mood for the night too I was more relaxed with my partner - so it was an ok night.
My challenge today for work is no negative talk today - this may seem simple but where I work everyone is now negative due to morale down and it really rubs off and you end up talking negative and getting in a sort of negative minded day and everything becomes annoying and crap. My reward is I was going to get my favourite perfume in the next few weeks but if I can do this today I will buy tonight versace bright cyrstal absolut!
As I'm not working tomorrow and can only post from work I will post in at the end of the day to let you know how I have gone. I'm also going to set disciplines for the weekend, will let you know when I post tonight.
Have a good day everyone!
Hi @BlueBay
Well its 20 mins before I go home and I got through the day without saying anything negative!! I nearly slipped up once when an employee came and was whinging about the boss lady and I opened my mouth said one word and realised what I was going to do and instead said outloud to myself "I'm not going to be negative I'm going to be positive and I want my perfume!" The employee even commented "whats wrong with you today?" in a joking way.
Apart from being able to get my perfume tonight it has made me feel so much more calmer knowing I have achieved this!
I'm not working tomorrow so wont post till Monday but I'm setting myself a target for the weekend the challenge is my partner is always saying that I talk in a victim type way even when I say something that is not meant to be negative.
So my challenge for the WHOLE weekend is not to say anything that might put me in a victim light if I get through this till Saturday my reward will be making some healthy chocolate slice for me on Saturday. If I achieve it again on Sunday I can have some more of my slice!
Will let you know on Monday how I went.
Hope you are feeling better and not so down, try doing this even if its for one day. It really made me feel good knowing I achieved something with my emotions even if it was for one day. The trick is to turn this into a habit so we dont have to use the reward system and it happens automatically.
Take care 
Wohoo 🙌 @Change123. I think what you are doing is awesome. Don't be too hard on yourelf I f you miss a day though, there is always tomorrow. I'm really proud of what you've achieved and you are inspiring me with it. Way to go girl.
Looking forward to an update monday regardless what of happens. You're doing great💜🤗
