Trying to stay Sane

[NatureLover]

I miss you @Anastasia , and I've realised we will probably see you much less often now, with your business needing all your time, plus of course your Mum and your boy...I hope they are doing OK. 

Are you getting any time for you? 

I was doing well with letting my left arm heal, and then I had a bad day of depression on Sunday, for no reason that I could see, and ruined it. Oh well, I have started again trying to let my arm heal. 

Sending lots of 💚 and ☕

[Emelia8]

@Anastasia 

So impressed that you have your business up and running so quickly. I think its wonderful that your Boy seems to be blossoming in the new environment and has a sense of limited responsibility. Its great that its something your mum can drop in to as well and feel an involvement in with you. And how good is it that you have your BFs expertise to fall back on if needed.  

It must feel so good to see and feel a good plan come to fruition.  Well done you.  🎉

I have no doubts at all that the coming months will be tough.  Set up costs would be numerous and  expensive.  It will take some time before you start to 'turn a profit'.  So hang in there,  knowing that it will only get easier from here on in. 

Sending you all my love, lots of patience, heaps of resiliance and (if only I could) time to spare. 😊

Emelia 💕

[Anastasia]

Hello dear @NatureLover @Emelia8 and all following a bug squishy hug for you...

Mum's taken a downward spiral and she's angry and being manipulate and unfortunately I'm her avenue to take it out on...she has serious issues and Dad obviously kept her "under control" over the years (mostly) I knew she was difficult but this is a whole new world of pain.

I'm really not coping. I'm re living my childhood of being gaslit and the constant guilt trips but of course now I understand them for what they are. 

I feel as though I'm drowning in life and my confidence has diminished with everything. My anxiety is over the top. I hardly have the confidence to make a bloomin cup of coffee!

I miss Dad more than words as he really was the glue that held us all together. Now I'm crying...

My boy is stepping up but me being as I am is not a good role model for him.

I miss you too NL, please know I'm sending wishes for your arm to heal and stay healed. I'm sorry about your depression. I would love nothing more than two sit and talk and not feel so very alone. I'm not a good friend here or irl at the moment and I'm sorry. Please know that I care deeply and not a day goes by that you aren't both in my thoughts 💖

[Paperdaisy]

I'm so sorry to hear @Anastasia Please let us know if there's anything we can do here. What supports does your Mum have aside from yourself? That's a lot for you to take on given you are still grieving the loss of your Dad as well.

Be kind to yourself 💝

[Anastasia]

Thank you @Paperdaisy 🙏

She has no formal supports (and refuses to) 

[Paperdaisy]

That makes it really difficult doesn't it @Anastasia and I can relate to that. I've needed to have extra strategies in place for myself when that's happened and I've needed to be a sole support. I hope you have support and remember it's OK to not be OK, sometimes it's good for our children to see us not coping but putting strategies in place to manage that. Here with you 💝 call if you need to SANE support services 

[Anastasia]

Thank you @Paperdaisy 💕🙏

[Appleblossom]

@Anastasia

Sounds delicate, but can you put any boundary on her? How often she communicates or sees you if she chooses not to get proper prof support?  Have you ever called our her gaslighting before ... maybe it can be done quietly ... but put out there .... and plan get together to celebrate your father.  

Greif is not easy for any family.

[NatureLover]

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@Anastasia wrote:

a bug squishy hug for you...

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You and your bugs again @Anastasia ! 😄 (made me giggle)

But I am so sorry about your Mum being so difficult, and that she won't seek professional help for herself but puts it all on you 😞

I have no idea what to send wishes for in this situation, but will be sending wishes that she can get some outside help and not take it all out on you...please tell me anything else you'd like wishes for too. 

Of course I am sending wishes that you will be able to cope...

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@Anastasia wrote:

I feel as though I'm drowning in life and my confidence has diminished with everything. My anxiety is over the top. I hardly have the confidence to make a bloomin cup of coffee!

I'm so sorry to read this, dear friend 😞 I wish I could be there and sit with you for a cup of coffee and listen to all your troubles and help out. 

I agree with @Paperdaisy  about it being a good thing others seeing us not coping but putting help /self care in place to deal with it...so I think that you are a good role model for your boy. 

Thank you for your kind words ❤️ I only had that one day of depression, and my arm is slowly healing again. 

Thanks for the update, really appreciate it. Sending lots of 💚 and hope to you.

[Anastasia]

@NatureLover 💐🎁🌞💚💛🌻🌳🍀🌄🌠