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25-12-2020 04:42 AM
The trying season.
Just venting my feelings,dont need replies. Most people love this time of the year,but there are those of us who find it painful and very mentally draining. Our past mental pains become magnified. I become an un person, unfriendly, unhappy. unstable, mentally unwell. unable to keep it together for long. Withdrawing ,not wanting to be around people,cant stand the radio and tv because of the carry on with singing and good wishes etc, I long for a weeks time when it is all over and done with.. This year seems to be more draining because of covid19,so many,many people in pain physically and mentally more than ever before. I do things automatically,not wanting to think ,wishing the days to pass quickly,sometimes I just have to stop and deal with my emotions. I am hateing every one and every thing at the moment..Cant sleep,4am and I am writing this....I keep telling myself," just persever hang in there,in a few days it will be all over". Next year will be a better year hopefully. I cant even bring myself to say the word,I hate it so much. I hope all you other people out there who feel like I do can just keep it together for a bit longer.because we will get over it. Just need to learn how to cope with it a bit better. Go well . jay2
28-12-2020 07:27 PM
Re: The trying season.
I agree, it's a trying time of year. Last year bush fires, this year floods. So many expectations and everyone spending too much money over nonsense. baby Jesus would be horrified. It's become a glorified consumer's paradise.
I've let go. Just hide out at home and let it all flow past me. As much as possible! It still comes at me full force and I just try and breathe through it, and decompress at my own leisure when I can be alone.
I used to be so social when I was a schoolgirl. It was an escape from my wicked step mother and I enjoyed it. Now I take most people with a fair few pinches of salt and a good shake of the sauce bottle (what ever that means). It's beyond me. I get too vulnerable. But someties life surprises me and there exists the milk of human kindness.