Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

[Former-Member]

Hi everyone. I’m 38. My symptoms of BPD really became obvious when I was 19, but I wasn’t diagnosed until several years later. I also have quite a few other diagnoses. My presentation of BPD is what is sometimes called quiet or internalising BPD. 

[BPD-Cinderella]

To be clear, I don't mean that they should leave forever, but they should definitely walk away if a situation is too heated or difficult.

@Phoenix_Rising yeah it's a tough one to admit to, but I'm at the point in my life where I can see myself do it, and usually stop myself from going further. It's hard to explain.

[roachy]

Question 1

1. Patience ... this is ultra-hard and can be extremely frustrating for loved ones, because generally the objective is to resolve something as quickly as possible. That makes sense at the most logical of times, and can be great for the mind, but sometimes distress triggers a severe, prolonged emotional dysfunction, so the ability to think straight / quickly is diminished. If loved ones are aware that this can be how I sometimes have to process a situation, it gives them a better understanding on how to approach me (i.e...softly, softly).

2. Space ... probably works in tandem with my point one, but sometimes isolation helps me process things quicker. I might go into the spare bedroom, play video games, use my DJ equipment and so on, self-soothe and come out when the moment has passed. 

3. Acceptance ... this can be tough for people who are carers, or bosses, and so on. I was quite vocal about my diagnosis and recovery, and I feel it hampered the way I was perceived at work and at home for a while, mainly because it's still such a hard topic to talk about generally. People were enthusiastic about being okay with it, but it's still fairly new in the mainstream. There have been great strides in education, but my experience made me feel even more isolated while I adjusted to life in this new 'skin', so to speak.

[Abs]

@BPD-Cinderella omg i find bpd so hard to describe in everyway!

[Phoenix_Rising]

@BPD-Cinderella But what does it MEAN to be manipulative? What do you see yourself doing? I don't understand what it means. Can you please maybe help @NikNik?

[Former-Member]

How can you best support someone with bpd?

Take the time to learn as much as you can about BPD (and from reputable sources—there is so much misinformation around, particularly online). But be aware that everyone’s presentation/symptoms of BPD will be different.

Be patient. We often get overwhelmed easily.

Offer reassurance often. Many people with BPD have strong fears of abandonment.

[Dolf]

Hey. Since being diagnosed with bpd it has been such a relief. It started I guess when I had self harmed and attempted suicide and sent myself to hospital. Then years later a phsychiatrist finally said within 15 minutes BPD and I was second in the list to get into DBT which was a life changer

[roachy]

It's kind of hard to pinpoint, @Phoenix_Rising ... we all have different means to get through the day. I know that in my 20s and early 30s, I would do whatever it took to make people happy, so I learned how to manipulate people to accept me. Then when I'd had enough, I'd just detach in an instant. My emotions would just switch off to that person / group. Literally, I would just turn off and look for the next shiny thing to yearn for (then ultimately dismiss again).

[Shaz51]

that is good advice @Former-Member thank you

[BPD-Cinderella]

@Phoenix_Rising like how I know what to say to people to push them to feel sympathy, or other emotions. Does that make sense?