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Something’s not right

etherial2
Contributor

tell me how to keep going

My head is pounding, I'm alone, everyone else is so overburdened, my health is failing and its my fault for getting fat and I think people just want me to go away, die, yet there's another message "press on" but how? Major depression, BPD & generally never fit in - I feel left for dead but it goes against everything I've learned, to be left like this. I'm only 60 but feel 80+ and it all seems pointless when ya gonna die anyway, just want to join lost loved ones. How do we keep going alone? Why doesn't the body just know its time & stop.
8 REPLIES 8

Re: tell me how to keep going

Hi @etherial2

This is a time when it's important to listen to the 'press on' message. Sometimes this can feel impossible to do but when you're having feelings like these it helps to decide to do one thing that isn't a feeling. Making a cuppa can help and while you're having that lovely hot drink have a look around you and perhaps try to find some things near you that put together will make up the colours in the rainbow. To me a rainbow is a promise thst things are going to get better but it also tends to mean that I've got to help that happen.

Making anything happen involves having the strength and courage to take the first step followed by the second step. Have a think about the things that have made you feel a little bit better previously and have a go.

Thinking of you 🎶

Re: tell me how to keep going

Hi @etherial2

I'm so sorry to read what you're going through. 

@Kurra offered some great practical tips. How have you been travelling for the rest of the day?

If things have escalated, please contact one of the crisis support organisations:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or online chat

Suicide call back: 1300 659 467 or online chat

Of course we are also always here if you want some support from others who have been there too. So you're never alone 🙂

 

Re: tell me how to keep going

@etherial2. I have felt just like you have described - when I was at my worst point - depression and suicidal thoughts. But just like you, I had a strong inner voice telling me not to give up.
Ok. But then what?
For me, I chose to go to hospital. Number one - I had to feel safe. Number 2 - I so needed a rest & number 3 - I needed to learn how to cope - how to live - to find me again.
I learnt some basics on coping and then followed this up with my psychologist.
When I find myself slipping into my depression vortex - I have to focus on a task - anything - so long as it will take at least 30 minutes. Mow the lawn. Sew a new cover for my dogs bed. Do Sudoku puzzles - where I have to concentrate. Pull out weeds. Some people in this forum, play music or do art or knit or exercise. Anything that will help take your mind off your negative self talk.
I also practice relaxation / breathing exercises morning and night. These help with anxiety and unwinding from stress.
What do you enjoy doing? Is there something you can think of that will take your mind off things for a while?
Also, the help of good professionals whether it be your gp, psychologist or psychiatrist can really help. Let them know how you are feeling.
I'm thinking of you

Re: tell me how to keep going

@etherial2 I had the joining lost ones theme ...a very big pull for me.

I was watching the diet myth tonight .. and they were talking about the whole calorific control approach to weight management .. is mistaken ..

it seems our microbiome ... our bugs ... have more to do with the metabolism and our level of energy  ...than will power .. or the

 dont eat cake and do more exercise ... line

Keep  posting and keep looking and maybe a good enough reason will be around the next corner. 

Take care

Re: tell me how to keep going

Etherial2 you are never really alone even though you might feel that way. Look here to this forum and talk about whatever you want. BPD is a bitch isnt it. It hits its sufferers in so many different ways and and at different times. No warning just wham. This forum is here for you. Please keep writing and talk here. My son has BPD. I know some of what he suffers but just having someone to listen can be a major help.

Re: tell me how to keep going

Dearest one
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other
Keep looking up and believe when there isn't any reason to believe that happy joyous and free times are ahead
Kind blessings to you

Re: tell me how to keep going

Good greetings your rainbow analogy is bliss thank you for sharing that I really appreciated it

Re: tell me how to keep going

I love your name @PJandslippers. once I pick up my son from music - I plan to put mine on. I find it comfortable.
And I'm glad to see a new forum member responding to the needs of others
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