Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[olly53]

Hi,

My daughter with BPD has been going along quite well for the past 5 months. It seemed that our relationship was building and she was being respectful and grateful for the assistance I give her. That is, until last night when out of the blue she became abusive. Must admit it took me by surprise due to the stability over the last 5 months. Tonight she continued to abuse me and said some really hurtful stuff that caused me to push her away. At one level I hate pushing her away but on the other hand I need some respite from the barage of insults and accusations.

[Tiggeroo]

Hey @olly53, 

I am very sorry to hear your daughter has slipped downward again, it is always harder when they have been travelling along ok for some time. My partner has bipolar too and he can go along amazingly for months and then BOOM... bad times. I’m sending you a hug, because you deserve it!

I make contact with my partners GP and psych fairly quickly after the shift to start him back on the upward path as he tends to spiral himself completely out of control if left to his own devices. Are you able to approach your daughter today about seeing her GP or perhaps touching base with a Psych?

And what are you doing for you today? is there a way you can steal yourself a break, a little "me-time" to help you recover and regroup. I’m sure your daughter will not mean the things she is saying and doing, and I am sure when she comes out of this drop she will apologise. I’m not saying her behaviour is acceptable, it isn’t, but I want you to remember that you have not done anything to deserve it. you are amazing.

Supporting a loved one through these situations is so challenging, tiring and emotionally draining. Make sure you find a little time for you to break away in all the chaos.

xx

Tigs

[olly53]

Thanks for the encouraging words and also the reminder that I am not alone in what sometimes feels like a sea of emotions.

[olly53]

Thought some positive feedback was in order. I sent a message to my daughter suggesting that an appointment with her physchologist might be a good idea. She then rang me and told me she has one next week and that things have got a bit out of control in her life but she is okay. We chatted for a while and have sorted out our issues and we are going out for dinner on Saturday night. The support helps so much to clarify when you are so emotionally involved yourself.

[Tiggeroo]

I am so glad @olly53,

Perhaps last night she was just struggling internally with her emotions and so lashing out at you seemed like her best option at the time. I am pleased she has responded more appropriately today and even more pleased she has an appointment booked in! 

I am hoping too that you have managed to do something special for you today, no matter how small. You deserve it!

xx

Tigs

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thinking of you @olly53 .....

Stay strong  🌷💜

I hope you enjoy that dinner out and it goes some way towards applying Arnica to your emotional bruises ....

Hugs 💕