Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Sisters]

My sister has recently returned home from living overseas and has exploded back into our families lives again. She is 34 and has a history of mental illness (she has been sectioned a number of times by the mental health crisis team and stayed in the psych ward for a few months after her first psychotic attack). She was medicated for a number of years but slowly reduced her meds and has not taken any for years. Despite this she has never been properly diagnosed and now believes that it is everyone else (mainly her family) who has the issue, not her. My sister is furious at us (mainly my Mum) for the way she believes she has been mistreated, abused and disrespected. She develops elaborate delusions about the way people have treated her in the past and cannot see how her behaviour has contributed to these situations. One example is, she stayed with my Mum and step-dad and would not stop abusing them, after threateneing to burn the house down, mum called the police, who contacted the mental health crisis team. The police registered an AVO against her and the crisis team said they could not guarantee our safety and took her to the ward. My sister now believes that it was mum who assaulted her and lied to the police (because she apparently has bipolar) and then insisted on placing an AVO against her. This is just one of endless situations where my sister reimagines history and sees herself as the victim. What I want to know is, how can you get help for someone who believes that everyone else is mentally unwell or morally corrupt? Also, does this sort of behaviour sound like BPD? 

[Former-Member]

Hello @Sisters and a warm welcome to our forums.

This is a very difficult situation you describe with your sister and no doubt has been stressful for all your family. With your question: do you mean Bipolar Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder (both are abbreviated to BPD)?

It's probably best to read up on the criteria and symptoms for each of these if you haven't done so already. The kinds of behavioural and mood patterns you describe fit with Borderline PD but no mention of self harming, which is common there. 

When someone is highly paranoid or in denial about their illness, it is hard to get them to co-operate with treatment. Over time, the correct medication may reduce her anxiety and suspicion so she can accept more help. You said your sister has already been sectioned for treatment under the Mental Health Act, but treatment is most effective when people co-operate and engage. If she threatens to harm herself or others, then she may be sectioned again.

Who do you have to talk to about these stresses and support you? It's a lot to deal with. 

Does anyone else have something to say about this topic? Have a look around in other threads @Sisters, you may find something of interest there.

Kind regards,

Frog

[pip]

@Sisters. It's possible your sister may have a form of schizophrenia. Often people who have schizo can be delusional, some also can become violent if not treated. If she has a form of schizo, she may have 'received' messages instructing her to burn the house to rid it of 'evil'. Does your sister have a regular Dr she is comfortable with? Froginthepond had a great idea about researching Bipolar Disorder and Borderline PD. Have a read through symptoms to see if your sister fits these criteria's. Also see what you can discover about schizo behaviour patterns. Once you've gained a bit of insight into what you suspect your sister may be suffering with, you will then have a better idea what to tell your Dr. I would, by all means have a talk with the Dr and ask him what, if anything can be done to get help for your sister.

[Sisters]

Dear Frog,

Thank you for your support - it has been very stressful, but it is so part of my  life now, you forget about the toll it places on us. I have looked at the symptoms and I believe my sister has Borderline Personality Disorder. Whilst, she doesn't self-harm (to my knowledge), she is definitely hyper-senstive, aggressive towards others, has rapidly changing emotions, paranoid under stress and extreme feelings of abandonment and subsequent victimisation. These emotional reactions seems to impact on her cognitive reasoning to the point that she becomes delusional and distorts reality. 

I can talk to my Mum, but because she is so effected by this as well, it is sometime more stressful. We have decided to go to the Annual Confernce in October to get some more information on this illness and maybe access some support or strategies to communicate with her. Every attempt to be rational and reasonable ends in an argument, so I am obviously doing something wrong. I agree that medication could help her anxiety but she is completely resistant to the idea that she is mentally unwell. She has shut out anyone who doesn't confirm her version of reality. I feel like this situation will only change if she is sectioned again and medicated, but I don't think ny of us can cope with the stress involved in that.

[Sisters]

Dear Pip,

Thank you for your advice - I don't believe it's schizophrenia. Her delusions are not irrational, in the sense that they are possible, they are just untrue. Her threats to burn the house down, or other aggressive behaviours are a response to her extreme sensitivity and fear of abandonment. She becomes incredibly aggressive when she perceives people are mistreating her, even if this is unfounded. 

Unfortunately, she did have a psychiatrist and a family doctor that she was seeing, when she was on medication, but now she won't see them. She has grouped them as part of my Mum's conspiracy. She believes that she has lied to them to make them think she is crazy (just like she apparently lied to the police and mental health crisis team). She will only see her "healer" who supports her version of reality. She has even written us a letter stating that my sister does not have a mental illness (which I think is highly suspect! What Dr. would write that?)

[pip]

@Sisters. If my comments regarding your sister possibly having schizophrenia upset you, please accept my sincerest apologies. Her healer (who I doubt is a qualified Dr) would not write a letter about your sister, as Dr/patient confidentiality would forbid any correspondence to family. The only way this would be overturned would be in the event that your sister needing hospitalization for her own safety and treatment. She does sound delusional in the respect of profound fear of abandonment to the extent that she would rather push people away than trust them to support her. If she feels her healer is her only ally, getting her away from her could be difficult. Is her healer qualified in any way? Is there grounds for her fear of abandonment, or is this just part of her delusions. You may have to consider having her sectioned even though the thought is distressing, but if you have fears of further aggression or violence and she needs medication, you may have no alternative. I suggest you have a talk with your Dr and discuss options with him. Your sister needs help you are unable to provide. I am so sorry you have this dilemma. Hopefully, you will be able to get some help for all of you.