Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Moses]

My brother has used cannabis heavily and lives with my parents however is not currently using. He has been behaving strangely for the last 3 months accusing my sister and I of knowing about a plot to murder him at his work and hence has left his high paying job and secluded himself indoors for protection. He has become extremely religious saying he's in touch with his spiritual side and is studying the bible with a high ranked priest. When he makes the accusations his eyes rapidly move horizontally. He tells me that he has given a list of names of the people to be investigated of his death to a lawyer and that I will find out if I'm on that list in the event of his death. I've told him he needs help but he says that I need to come clean with the truth about the plot to murder him. How do I help him when he believes that I am the problem?

[Mosaic]

Hi @Moses

I am sorry to hear your brother is struggling. That sounds like a really difficult and tricky situation to be facing. Especially because his delusional beliefs are directed at you and your sister, I can imagine that must leave you feeling pretty scared and bewildered. It is important to remember that while your brother is not his usual right now, this is still your brother. It can be hard but try not to take it personally if he says hurtful words to you while he is unwell. It is very difficult for a person who is unwell to be the person they usually are.

Given that your brother's delusional beliefs have lead him to mistrust you and your sister, I'm wondering could you could ask your mum or dad, or a trusted friend of his, to sit down and have a chat with him about what's going on? Perhaps they have already tried? These conversations can feel a little tricky, awkward or clunky... yet it's still important to keep communicating. 

Trying to help someone who is experiencing delusions can be difficult. Your brother may seem fixed in his beliefs and ideas right now. Try to avoid engaging in long disagreements or arguments about his ideas and beliefs. As much as possible, try to listen with interest to gain an understanding of his current reality. This will demonstrate empathy and compassion. It can also be helpful for future reference, so that you can discuss it when he is feeling better. When talking with him, try to validate the feelings associated with the delusion (e.g. feeling scared, hurt, anxious or alone) without validating the delusion itself. 

A trusted friend or family member can encourage a visit to the GP about more general symptoms of mental ill-health (e.g., insomnia, stress). For example you could say something like, "You mentioned you haven't been sleeping very well lately... that must be so frustrating. You know, going without sleep can really exacerbate stress, and it really seems like you've been feeling pretty stressed out lately. The GP can help you get back on top of that, it might be worth booking an appointment to see what they can suggest?"

You might like to have a read through our Topic Tuesday on psychosis from a few months back. I wonder whether @kenny66  @soul  @Linmerc  @Shadow  @Louise  @Annie2  and @Kiera80 might like to offer some advice or suggestions to you, as they have their own unique experiences.

Above all @Moses, take care of yourself. It can be tricky to strike a balance between trying to help your brother, whilst still taking the time you need for yourself as well. Are you and your sister close? Have your parents been helpful and supportive? Please keep us updated with how things are tracking. 

[Kiera80]

Hi Moses,

I am sorry to hear that you are going through this with your brother.  Something really isn't right here and I think you need someone to step in to get some help for him.

You might like to contact one of the mental health associations in your area and explain what's going on.  Some of them can intervene on your behalf.  It might also be helpful to talk to your local GP who can also give you some suggestions.

Someone else on the forms here might have some suggestions as to what your fist port of call should be.

Has something happened to your brother in the last few months that could have brought about this change?  Have your parents made any effort to help him yet?

[ivana]

Hi Moses,

How old is your brother?Is there a family history of any illnesses?

Would you know if he has used any other drugs such as Ice?

Does he have any other physical symptoms such as uneven pupil size,headaches,balance problems,unusual movements,blurry vision or anything else?

Are you able to go with him to a Neurologist ASAP if not a Psychiatrist?

Would he be willing to do this even if you had to say it was to get the eye movements (Nystagmus?) checked out?

When there are Psychosis/paranoia symptoms,people usually automatically think Schizophrenia or drug  induced psychosis-and maybe it is-however there are also other often overlooked other things that can also cause paranoia.

[Two]

I was advised to notify Mental Health whenever I was worried about my son's behaviour, so that it builds up a picture that they can work with if and when they might be called for help to intervene. It's hard to get an unwell person to a doctor or psychiatrist when they don't see any problem.