Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Messedupmama]

Hi Everyone I'm new to the forums today.  My 18 year old daughter was diagnosed with BPD a couple of weeks ago although she has suffered from it for 5 years.  I feel relieved that I finally have a light at the end of the tunnel and have joined a support group.  She is seeing a psychiatrist and will begin DBT at some stage.  I have also purchased a couple of the BDP books and done lots of online research.  What I would like to know is what help can we get in job searching?  She struggles with noise, big groups, busy places and the general public.  Is there any help I can get to try to match her to a suitable part time job, she is at Uni at the moment.  She may not make it through Uni but I want her to try the "normal" things in life.  If she isn't capable because of the condition then so be it, but I would like her to  try first before accepting that the "disability" prevents her from leading normal life.  If I am way off the mark please share your thoughts and experiences, as I said I am very new to this and only just learning about validation etc following a very long period of difficult relationship battles with her.  Thanks a million 🙂 

[Appleblossom]

I recently had a discussion with a lady from my Carers group about jobs.  She had orchestrated that her son with multiple diagnoses keep his part-time secure clerical govt job. 

I have been disabled for a long time and managed to complete uni studies but only keep part-time work along with full household and family responsibiltiies.  There is a huge range in ability to disability.

Definitely work towards as full a life as your daughter's potential will allow.

Most campuses have a disability unit which may advise about getting extensions and lengthening period of study so that she may well complete the course she is in.

Regarding work .. keep eye open for opportunities. 

I would settle into support group and let her do some DBT before pushing more than study on her.

Good Luck

I like your profile name ... I might use it in chitchat!

[jazz]

Hi welcome to the forums, I am one of the moderators here. It is great that you can see the light and are receiving support. It is important to not go through this alone. Has anyone else had a similar experience? I was thinking perhaps you can contact your local centrelink as they have a social worker there that you and your daughter can speak with regarding employment and training opportunities and links. 

[NikNik]

Hi @Messedupmama

Welcome to the Forums 🙂

There are some employment agencies that specialise in mental health. Ostara is one example.

It's really hard to assist not knowing her skills and interests.

What is awesome is there are more flexible workplaces these days (some have a fair way to go!) which can cater for flexible hours or working from home arrangements. There are also careers which primarily are online - so for those (not sure if your daughter fits into this) have social anxiety, they can work remotely. Some examples include website design etc.

It's great that your daughter is going to explore DBT 🙂 

And it sounds like you're doing an amazing job at informing yourself and being a wonderful support!

[Messedupmama]

Hi All 

Many thanks for your replies and suggestions.  Sorry I haven't checked back, life has been a tad crazy the last few days.  I will certainly check out Ostara.  She has only had one retail job for 6 months at Build a Bear which she didn't like. Her main problem is that she tells me that she can't take the work seriously and fully engage and give it 100% because she knows it is not her career, she is studying at Uni for that.  I've tried to explain that to maintain a job that will give her money to spend, independence, build skills etc etc she needs to give it 100% career or not and that some people will take their role seriously because for them it IS their career.  I'm getting nowhere and at her age she is expensive to maintain!  Mobile phone, railcard, clothes, make up, hair, socialising etc I would like to help enable her as much as possible to lead as normal a life as she possibly can with BPD, to some extent I have to let her lead me with what she can and can't deal with.  As for interests, she really loves acting and music and is quite talented. She has an ATAR of 87.5 and is studying an undergraduate degree.   She needs a part time job whilst studying

[NikNik]

Hi @Messedupmama

May I ask what she's studying?