Lived Experience Forum

[Broken]

Help me. I'm drowning. <br>I have 2 children and an adoring partner and I've never wanted to off myself more than these past 6 months.<br>I've seen my GP. The lack of motivation due to depression has made sure I seek no further help. <br>Tonight I cut my leg for the first time since high school....it didn't hurt and the pain was what I wanted. <br>I don't know what to do anymore please help I promise I want to live how can I go on when every day I want to die when I have so much to live for...<br>It's just when the implosive thoughts get me is when I'm at my worst.. Anyone have any coping mechanisms for self harm & suicidal thoughts? <br>I don't want to drown.

[TAB]

Hi @Broken Try the phone number on main page perhaps? it's outside my experience, was just suggesting cos no one had seen this yet. Pretty sure I'm depressed etc, but haven't been there re harm.just substances

[Broken]

My extreme anxiety and depression renders me unable to use the phone. I might just jump on the online chat on beyond blue thanks @TAB x

[TAB]

ok @Broken moderators here usually see stuff, and there's usually lots of helpful contibutors on here; bit late at night guess. Hope you get someone. Take it easy

[Broken]

Yeah crazy time of the night anyway. My baby is taking up the whole bed so I'm on the couch. Night x

[TAB]

 @Broken try in the morning maybe. moderators having a snooze maybe Hope you're okay tonight. Am crashing here x

[Appleblossom]

Find other ways to use your body ... do some quiet stretches ... quiet rocking ... you have been giving to your children ... find away to gently calm yourself.

Sometimes smell ... flowers aromatherapy helps ... spray yourself with perfume ... and try saying kind things to yourself as if you were your baby.  I feel such urges only come when there is accumulation of overwhelm.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Broken

I have been and still have not passed where you are now but slowly getting better. I think there are lots of things you can try when that urge is high to self harm or to suicide. Have you been through any things before with a professional to work out some strategies for when your like this? One way is to ring Suicide call back service. I found them pretty helpful. Other suggestions made to me were to hold ice for the pain factor instead or drink ice cold water and have a cold shower. At one point I found chatting on the lifeline chat helpful as just having to concentrate typing and getting my feelings out often helped the urges pass. For me something might work for a few months and then loses its impact. I think it's whatever stops your brain thinking for long enough for the urge to pass is good. If it ever gets so bad you know you can't get passed it turn up to your local hospital. It is humiliating but if you have enough reasons to live like you suggested it will keep you safe. I don't know if this helps. Pretty much any activity which redirects your thoughts is helpful. I just realised that as I typed this I have moved on a bit with this.  I have spent most of the past three and a half years in that hell, I'm not passed it. When I was in the thick of it it is really hard to take on advice because you believe nothing will change it, that you are destined not to make it but that's not true. You are destined to make it but just need to find the things that work for you to make that happen. I'm so sorry that you are in so much pain right now, take care of yourself because it will get better and you are worth it. 💜😊

[marchhare]

Hi Broken,

 it si Marchhare here, One of the forum moderators. I’m really sorry to hear that things are so difficult for you at the moment and you have cut yourself after such a long time managing to not do it..You have shown a lot of strength in coming to the forums and seeking help. It’s really important that you speak to someone about how you feeling.

Do you have someone you can speak to right now? Unfortunately, we are not a crisis service, but some places you can contact now for support are;

 Lifeline: Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: online counselling

If in immediate danger: 000

You don’t deserve to go through this alone. Are you safe tonight? Sometimes when people use the phrases such as "how can I go on when every day I want to die" as you have said in your post, they are having suicidal thoughts which it appears you are battling. These types of thoughts can be really scary and overwhelming – but they are thoughts that do not need to be acted upon. If you are having these types of thoughts, it’s really important to speak with someone. I note that the forum members have rallied round you and are giving you good advice.

You have shown great courage in reaching out for help & I hope you continue to do so. You are more than welcome to continue the forums, but if you need help immediately, please call one of the numbers above or 000 in an emergency.

Please take care of yourself and let us know if you are safe.

Kind regards,

Marchhare

[Kurra]

Just wondering how you're going @Broken
Hopefully you're feeling a bit safer now. Do drop in anytime you feel like a chat.
Take care.