Lived Experience Forum

[MistyBlue]

I think I'm suffering depression. Actually I'm sure I am, as I have affected by it in the past but never really dedicated myself to treatment. I also suffer from a form of social anxiety.

I really hate talking to professionals about my problems. I just hate opening up to them. If someone I knew was going through what I am, I would definitely recommend seeking counseling. But I just do not want to. I understand the process of cognitive behavioural therapy and know what I need to do. I wish I could just get anti depressants from a GP and work on this by myself.

[Mosaic]

Hi @MistyBlue

Welcome the the Forums! Like you, so many people struggle to take that 'first step' in reaching out for help. It can be a daunting thought. One big reason people often avoid seeking help is because of a sense of fear, or shame, or self-stigma. Can I ask, what do you feel like is the biggest barrier for you? What do you feel like is holding you back?

I'm glad you found us here on the Forums - I hope you will find it a safe and welcoming space to keep 'testing the waters' of reaching out to others and sharing more about your experience.

Take care.

[utopia]

Hi @MistyBlue & welcome to the forum. All of us here have experienced MI & I myself have depression and anxiety.
I wonder if you not being comfortable talking with professionals could be due to previous experiences of dealing with professionals, or maybe due to shyness or anxiety.
I know some people on this site find writing things down easier than speaking out loud.
Maybe you could write in point form, some of the issues you are going through eg: lack of sleep, lowered energy etc. You could hand this to your gp & then fill in the mental health plan questionnaire yourself. That may be a first step that you could manage.
I had a gp 12 years ago write up an anti depressant for me (he was my long time family Dr).
However I've only been diagnosed by my own psychiatrist a few months ago. Although I have had a psychologist for a while.
It can be scary taking the steps needed to help you heal. But it is worth it to stop the pain.
I hope others on this site will be able to offer you ideas that may make this process easier for you.
I'm glad you wrote in today and I wish you well

[Former-Member]

Hi @MistyBlue. Welcome!  It's nice to have you on board.

Gee, that's quite a tough "catch 22" you're in. On the one hand, your head is telling you that talking to someone could take you on the right path to recovery, but on the other hand, your social anxiety is standing in your way of doing exactly that. It's interesting, too, that when you've taken the difficult step in the past, something was preventing you from fully committing to seeing it through. You sound like you have excellent insight.

Ive been battling depression and anxiety, which have been wrapped up in PTSD (as I've just recently learned). Sometimes I've had good insights that break through the fog, but often I struggle to get perspective to be able to communicate like I'd like to in counselling. Keeping a note pad has been useful for me. I write down observations, like something that's triggered me, something I've identified as an obstacle or barrier, or an "aha" moment. Then I bring it along to counselling and found it really useful because I'm not necessarily feeling clear headed when I'm in there and it gives me a bit of a script to work from.

I wonder whether you've been happy with the people who you've seen about this in the past? It makes such a difference if you have a good rapport with them - that's half the battle. By asking around, I managed to identify a psychiatrist who I thought would tick all the rig boxes for me, but it was several months wait to get in. In the interim, I saw my GP (who is awesome) every week or two for a check in. That made a real difference for me. That fact that it was only 15-30 minutes max made it a little less anxiety provoking for me too. Some GPs are actually trained in CBT so might be able to get you started with that and/or meds as appropriate, till you feel you're ready for the next step? Just a thought.

Another option, alongside a GP, might be to look into some online therapy or programs, so you can have more of a sense of being in your own driver's seat. 

Btw, well done for your decision to join the online community here! I imagine that might have taken a bit of courage under the circumstances. 

[Former-Member]

Lol. I was obviously typing my reply when you posted this response, @@utopia. (Nice to see you, btw!) Looks like we're thinking alike. Sorry for the double up @MistyBlue.

[CherryBomb]

That's some fantastic advice from @Former-Member and @utopia. To add this, you could consider online treament such as Mindspot or Moodgym. Just be sure to look into the service provider to ensure that they're evidence based (the one's I've listed are). There's nothing wrong with trialing a few different approaches. For some people, talking doesn't help, for other it does. The challenge is staying motivated to try something when one thing doesn't work out. In this sense, it's like a jigsaw puzzle, trying to find the right piece of the puzzle that works for you. 

[utopia]

@Former-Member. No problem with doubling up. Just proves good minds think alike.

[Former-Member]

Haha. Yes! That must be it. 

[TAB]

..dorothy dixers ..again .. ok it's your livelihood and guess it serves a purpose..