Lived Experience Forum

[AciraMay]

Hi everyone, 

I need some advice. 

I have been living with depression for about 10 years now. Since being diagnosed about 3 years ago, I have seen multiple therapists and been on and off anti-depressants. 

In April I was put back on anti-depressants to curb my extreme outburts (screaming, tears, striking myself, suicidal thoughts etc.) 

But now I just constantly feel low, i feel numb and aimless and bored. 

I feel like I'm missing something, like there is something I need help with but I don't know what it is. 

I went to my GP yesturday, I sat in her office for half an hour crying and begging for help. All she did was up my meds. Then I sat in the carpark for an hour, unable to move. I considered going to the hospital but when I called them they said to just go back to my GP. 

I feel like there is no where for me to get help. I have no money to pay for services and no one seems to know where I can go. 

I am so desperate, has anyone else been in this situation? Can anyone give me any advice? 

Sorry if I'm being over dramatic and thanks for reading. 

[Former-Member]

Hi @AciraMay

I feel like I live my life in crisis too so can relate. Have you ever had a mental health plan to see a psychologist. Some psychologists dont charge gaps so it's free for 10 visits a year. It feels like medication alone is not the answer currently. The other thing is to try to ring the help line at SANE and ask what other options there may be. In the meantime it's probably good to read others stories on here and keep reaching out. Some days people are around to respond straight away and sometimes it takes a while.

Sorry to hear you are really struggling at the moment😔. I just want to say welcome to the forum and hope you can find the support you need both on here and with professionals. Take care 💜😊

[III]

Hi AciraMay

This type of illness is not an absolute here's the pills and you'll be ok now, as you have now found out for yourself.
The medication provided may not be right for you, many have side effects some don't even work for a particular individual. On top of this the medication for this fixable illness may even need to be changed as time goes by, this is because our body is excellent at fighting anything that is not natural to our body and you basically build an immune sympton to the medication that is helping you. This is generally seen where people suffer migranes and use some type of pain relief eventually this medication must be changed to another.

The way you stated you are feeling shows me it seems as though its not presently working for you.
By going back to the doctors (yet again) and demanding a new assessment or providing further information, the doctor may prescribe something new including checking your diet, blood, and even environmental factors that may not be helping you get better.

Continue to remind yourself that depression IS curable, no one just remains depressed forever and ever. There is an answer and I feel the only way to recover is by being re-assessed yet again. To avoid 'going back' to the same doctor (if you feel you are getting no where) You can try another doctor or service, but its ideal to allow your previous information to be sent to them, as they may know things that you don't.

I empathize with your condition especially the no money issue that I have as well. But I'm fully aware that services are about even free. If you have friends and family be open about this illness too, it is not selfish or burdening anyone, it is the same as you helping someone who were in an accident, and you were on hand at the time, its just that your illness is inside it still exists in reality as any other condition.

And just to repeat > It Is Curable 😉


Edit// I wrote emphasize when I meant empathize, all fixed now. I think I'm getting old 😄

[Appleblossom]

hello @AciraMay

I think that is why the most concerned and experienced practitioners in the field recognise that meds alone are not the fix .. but it is the combination of psychotherapy ... and meds are just there to reduce the level of distress so you can do the psychotherapy ... there are some good psychiatrists ...

who practise eg SELF PSYCHOLOGY or other modalities

If they are just drug managers ..and have no other approach .. they are treating people as a chemical cocktail and not as a person.

but a lot of psychiatrists do not put out their particular interests on line ... so that clients can make informed choices ... anyway that is the way it is in my area ... I know good docs .. but they are all a long travel ...

we all hope that by sharing and trying to find solutions our lives will improve.

Take care Apple

[AciraMay]

Thanks for all your advice everyone.
I have contacted a few community services and am being referred for outreach support and therapy.

Thanks again 🙂