Lived Experience Forum

[Andthecity]

This is such a new emotion for me .... anger! I want to scream and punch and kick and arrrgghhh. SO frustrated all the time!

Im 27...
I have recently moved back home, when my mum talks to me i want to yell at her, i usually just dont respond.

I am 2months ago off my meds after 10 years(they just were not doing anything to help, ive never found one(tried 10 types over the years) i thought i was doing sooooo welll! i was feeling so 'happy' and 'free'
And then BOOM, im back in bed, crying, screaming, not moving, not going out, canceling on friends, over eating, being ANGRY and so gRUMPY

I just dont know what to do, i see no way out, i see no future. i am not happy. i see no point. i dont think i will ever feel lke a normal person.

everyone is so happy around me i HATE it

i feel soooo much HATE

why am i so angry!? i have never ever been an angry person!

I honestly just dont know what to even do, talking to a psycholohist has never helped me, 1hr every 2 weeks? ha i could ramble on to someone for 10 hours a day about how crap i feel.

Please i need help, advice, what do i do? where do i get information?
I just wanna live a normal life, i have no friends anymore. they dont care, dont understand.

i feel so so lost and so alone

[Former-Member]

Welcome @Andthecity
I'm sorry you are feeling such strong emotions. I don't feel much anger but I get overwhelmed by stuff a lot and it's hard feeling like you don't have much control. People have been reminding me that I am coping, I'm still going through the motions each day.. And to let myself have that time to cope to take things as slowly as I need. It could be that you are adjusting to not being on meds. It could be good to go and see a gp to check that physically things are ok too.
Here listening 😉
Lj

[Appleblossom]

HI @Andthecity

It sounds as if you have been medication and session compliant ... since around 17 ... that is heavy .. and I get the feeling you want to try and see if you can find something more in your life ... that makes perfect sense to me ... not that I am totally against medication .. but I do think there can be advantages to drug free holidays .. at least that is what they used to call it when my ex came off anti-psychotics.

If you feel cheated by life then it makes sense that you would be angry ... but how to channel it productively without hurting your self or others is the issue. I have used exercise and gardening to channel anger ... early on in my therapy I was encourage to express my anger ... but mostly I am very slow to anger ... but it is a very human emotion.

Can you tell us any more about why YOU decided to come off meds or go back home ... and what other things are in your life ...

Welcome

[CherryBomb]

Hi @Andthecity,

 @Appleblossom and @Former-Member's have highlighted some great point - adjusting to meds can play havoc on your body and mind, and channeling frustrating in a productive way can be helpful.

I'm curious to know @Andthecity if going of your meds was done working with a doctor? I ask because stopping your meds suddenly can be harmful both physically and psychological, so it's important to make any changes to meds in consultation with your doc.

Another thing that I'm wondering about is that I heard someone say that anger can be built up emotions that has not been resolved. For instance, if we have some repeatedly disappointment, and makes no changes, overtime the disappointment can turn into anger. Same thing can happen with stress, over time when stress accumulates it can turn into anger if the stressors are not resolved adequately. I wonder if there is anyting else going on in your life?

CherryBomb

[Former-Member]

Every thing you say I can 100% relate. I'm 27 and get full of rage and I look at all those happy people and I just go why why why and I get full of anger. I've also been on and off pills for 15 years. It's the worst!!!

One thing I have done with the people close to is when I was in a calm mood I told them I'm finding my emotions hard to handle and when I start getting really quiet stop talking to me and just let me breath. My mum can be rather full on but she know knows when I'm in my room at home and not in a talking mood leave me alone.

With other people living the so called normal happy life it's the most frustrating thing to see. It kills me!!!! They are all buying houses starting family's and have good jobs. It's the worst! One thing that brings me a little bit of peace is that no one really knows what happens behind closed doors. On the surface I look like I'm living the fun life. People continuesly tell me they wish I had my life. Only if they new the truth.

Some things that help me when I'm in my angry moods is I draw, I write my emotions down, I listen to music or I research the most weirdest things online. And the best thing to do and I know it sounds stupid and like those annoying live positive drink wheat grass people is to actually breath. Taking a few deep breaths really helps.

I understand how you feel about talking to people. I'm like the same I don't see the point. But I've decided I can't keep doing this so I'm now seeing someone and I'm slightly liking it as this person is someone that won't judge me and is there 100% to help me and tells me the truth.

Hope this helps

[Appleblossom]

Glad you have confidence in your counsellor @Former-Member

Yes there are so many different stories and we often make comparisons even tho we hear we should not.

My 2 children had very different looking lifestyles ... one has great partner, great job, study, house in great location and the other seemed to have nothing ... I have been working at opening opportunities for him and encouraging him ... and am feeling more relaxed that he was a chance in the world ... it is important to focus on what you do have that is going for you ... and yes we do not know what others really go through ...

so glad to see your posts popping up all over the forum

[supernova]

Hi All,

Just a friendly reminder that this week’s Topic Tuesday is all about anger! @Andthecity, @Appleblossom, @Former-Member, @Former-Member, maybe this would be a good space to share some of your thoughts and experiences of dealing with anger. @Mosaic will be unpacking anger to help us learn some strategies and gain some insights to manage this challenging emotion. We'll cover what causes anger, ways to prevent anger by identifying triggers, and discuss ways you can better manage it.  We encourage you to get involved!

All the best

supernova.

[AlessaStars]

I am currently working on this myself.. Once i am amped up i cant stop and I fear getting arrested one day. I brought it up to my counselor and she gave me a packet that is not a cureall but it is helping me to realize how i can better handle the situations that anger me..alternates to destructive anger: a. Assertiveness- speak in a manner that is respectful of the other persons needs and does not attack anyone to make them defensive (something i have to do before i am angry personally) b. Tune out/cool down- recognize the situation has become volatile and nonproductive and suggest withdrawal from  the situation to give everyone a chance to cool down collect their thoughts and regain personal control c. Relaxation- learn and implement relaxation skills to reduce stress thru the use of words that cue relaxation..deep breathing, imagining relaxing places like the beach or somewhere you feel at peace, or deep muscle relaxation (none of this one has worked for me but everyone is different) d. Diversion- distract yourself by focusing on a more enjoyable experience (my favorite one bc it works the best for me i listen to uplifting music or play a videogame two things where my mind can't wander despite my ADD bc i have to pay attention to engage in these activities) e. Physical exercise- can release tension (another favorite. Never loved exercise but i can spped walk when upset and feel surprisingly better) f. Problem solving- identify or clarify the problem, brainstorm possible solutions, review the pros and cons and select the best solution (i cant do this when I'm angry but everyones different. But personally I distract myself first or sppedwalk and then i problem solve once the tension is released) g. Self talk- talk to yourself in a calm reasoned and constructive sentences that move you towards anger control ( I have gone as far as writing on my palm "being angry only hurts myself. Go calm down and then problem solve") h. I statements- begin your statements with I feel or i need instead of talking about the other persons behavior. (People respond much better to this) obviously we are not going to bbe perfect every time but it does help me sometimes and hopefully once we keep practicing these techniques then our habit of anger can transform into a healthier habit of control. 

[AlessaStars]

And you are not alone in feeling like you have been robbed of the glory of a happy life. I feel the same way all the time. I cant always do it but when i can i remind myself that many others with mental health issues have found their way. Im disabled and cant work and i dont have one person i could truly call a friend and i was homeless for 12 years. When i was homeless i spelt in my car in the walmart parking lot and i would wake up in the morning and stare through my back tinted window at all the happy families wondering why cant i have that do i not deserve that as well? And honestly it was a heartbreaking experience. But when i am able i channel the energy into my creative projects in the hope that one day my career can be a creative entrepreneur. It took a long time before I even found a niche but once i did i felt alot better knowing I know what i want to do with my life and may still b possible without human contact as most will judge my mental health issues bc the general population just doesnt get it.