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etherial2
Contributor

family off meds

I actually have 2 brothers diagnosed with paranoid psychoses (delusions). They are verbally aggressive & have push everyone away accept mum who enables them. Mum is a difficult person, an alcoholic recently diagnosed with slow growing terminal cancer. Dad's slipping away into dementia. With my children gone I'm compelled to move closer to help my parents, but, the two brothers & mum - they tear me up inside i don't feel safe with any of them. I can help them but not at my own peril.
I wish MH would do their job properly & monitor my brothers injections properly. Bro1 gloats to me that they can't even tell he's off his meds a year now, at his last review, he's learned what not to tell them. Frankly i'm disgusted they draw an income - such gross incompetence. Recently mum triggered a concern through the GP (because Bro1 was distressed crying over 'them' waiting in the kitchen for him & he can't eat...) All he got from MH was a ph call. They need to go see the foil on the windows & the arguing & emotional distress. Mum's the only one he trusts & she's dying. He's abusive with me lately & i don't know what else i / we can do & would appreciate input.
Will talk about Bro2 another time.
Very sad.


5 REPLIES 5

Re: family off meds

Hi @etherial2

Welcome to the forums 

My goodness that is a lot to deal with... I was a bit confused though is Bro1 getting depo shots or is he supposed to be giving himself injections? Would you consider call his mental health team yourself and telling them about the foil on the windows and paranoia? ask them to do a home visit (alegedly of their own accord) to see what is happening and hopefully provide real help? Are your mum/dad safe?

wondering if you saw this thread about psyhosis and things that can help, maybe some ideas for things you could talk to them about?

does anyone have any other ideas? 

or can anyone share tips about things that helpful for them/loved ones at a time like this?

@Moses@Kiera80@ivana@Daisy

Re: family off meds

Hello @etherial2

It is very sad. I hear your weariness and concern in the understatement. Life just isnt a level playing field. It is a lot tougher for some.  Self protection is really important .. dont have too high expectations of what you can accomplish with your brothers ... but do what you think will make a difference.

 

Re: family off meds

@etherial2

I'm sorry to hear that you find yourself in this very difficult situation.  Not fair at all.

I'm just going to speak a little bit about the experiences I have been through with my sibling where I have the benefit of looking back in hindsight of what I went through.  It's never easy when it comes to family because you care about them but a big lesson I have learned, as the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. 

I suggest you help where you can without having anything affect your own life.  It is all too easy to become drawn into someon else's dramas and mental health issues.  I don't want to sound harsh but believe me when I say that sometimes, if you can, it's better to stand off to the side.  I firmly believe that GPs and the mental health services should be there to step in when needed.  I've come to the point in the past where I had a huge shouting match with a mental health professional because my sibling clearly wasn't getting the care they needed.  Don't be afraid to jump up and down a bit if you feel it's necessary.  Make the phone calls and be persistant. 

Another thing I learned which I wish I had known a while ago is that you are only responsible for you, not anybody else, no matter what they are going through.  If you are copping the abuse you need to walk away.  If you don't feel safe with any of your family then please don't put yourself in a position where harm may come to you.  You owe yourself more than that and you are worth more than that.

As for Bro1 going off his meds, unfortunately there is nothing you can do about that.  Him bragging that MH can't tell that he's not medicating is typical behaviour for someone with this sort of mental illness.  They get very good at convincing people that things are just fine and dandy when the reality is completely different.  It's not until they hit a wall and spiral downwards when they become open to asking for help again.  Same thing happened with my sibling.  To the outside world everything was just smelling like roses yet life at home was al living hell.

I'll wrap up in saying that I think you should show your family that you love them and will be there for them but please tread lightly in how much of yourself you're willing to give.

 

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: family off meds

"Is Bro1 getting depo shots or is he supposed to be giving himself injections?"
Bro1 - Mental Health NSW have told him to organise his antipsychotic injections with his GP (so he says) and he did for a while but stopped for a year now (he says), He recently had a review by his MH team Case Manager & Psychiatrist (which worried him) but he's learned to say what they want to hear & told them he WAS doing monthly injections. The 'experts' inability to detect that he was unmedicated is his proof that he's 'normal' without it. I'm not a big fan of MH system processes so 'whatever works' - he's not hurting anyone. Trouble is when he becomes distressed for days & rings mum crying about the lazer beams coming through the walls, arguing with everyone about everything. But it only lasted a week last time. Mum got MH to visit him at home & while this seem to calm him nothing has changed. I'm having trouble seeing the forest through the trees with it all.

Would you consider call his mental health team yourself and telling them about the foil on the windows and paranoia? ask them to do a home visit (alegedly of their own accord) to see what is happening and hopefully provide real help? Are your mum/dad safe?

wondering if you saw this thread about psyhosis and things that can help, maybe some ideas for things you could talk to them about?

does anyone have any other ideas? 

or can anyone share tips about things that helpful for them/loved ones at a time like this?
Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: family off meds

I read the psychosis thread, very helpful
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