Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Bianca]

Hi
Yes I am new to this post , actually new to any post ...
But this is my story ..... I have 2 sons , one son gives me no problems , and doing very well , engaged to a lovely girl , had own company etc he is 23 ......
On the other hand I have my 20 yr old , which gives me only grief , I know that's awful to say ....
From the age of 13 has started to smoke pot , became addicted from day dot ... Expelled in year 7 ... Managed to make it through to year 9 , got an apprenticeship , then got asked to leave tafe ... Couldn't manage at work , all the while still smoking pot ... Got drug induced psychosis , hospitalised , since then has been in hospital 3 more times ... Has a monthly injection now plus oral meds ... Has done 2 short rehabs in the private hospital ... At the moment seems to be drug free (maybe 2 weeks ) ... Also has abused his oral meds , and who only knows what else .... He now is 20 , and is left with severe mood swings , poor concentration , no life skills ..,. Has good and bad days .... Needless to say my marriage is on the rocks , my husband which is the boys stepdad has had enough .., there is an avo here , so he can't live here ... He is couch surfing with a few relatives , his dad won't take him .... I have tried to get him into residential housing, it teaches them life's day to day skills , he made it through 3/4 app then walks out ... This child had stolen from us , destroyed our property in one of his tantrums , bought drugs into our home ..., we have had police here on a number of occasions .... But still it is my son ...... And he only wants to come back home .... How awful , I have my husband who won't bugge and even hear of him coming back, we have a granny flat , vacant , if I even mention that , he goes off in a rage ...I have my son throwing tantrums and wants to come back .... Tonight I am not speaking to either of them ...... I just feel so down and out ...., maybe I might have to leave, not sure , ... The stress of my son not having a place to stay is consuming me .... Well that's it in a nutshell .....

[Appleblossom]

I can feel for you being a mum with a child in need.  Somehow we dont feel our job is done until every stone is turned over. Sorry you are going through this.

I cant tell you the right thing to do as each family is so complicated.  But if posting and sharing helps you come to some clarity for yourself of any way forward then I hope that is useful.

i personally used drugs 35 years ago and stopped completely by the time I was 21 so I dont believe it is right to cut people completely off ... but your boy does have to stop abusing his loved ones .. as well as himself ...  there is a need for tough love... but how you define that is best done by you.