Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Attahua]

Hi, it's me AGAIN!!! I thought after my partner was transferred to a secure ward in the city, 600 kms away that he would now be safe and not abscond and my daughter and I could relax a little and get on with our day to day routine.......HOW WRONG I WAS!!!! After spending about 9 days in a short term 4 to 7 day secure ward he was transferred two days ago to an open ward ....that was great as it's another step in the right direction in his recovery .....so I rang the ward yesterday morning as I always do just to see how he is getting on and the nurse who just happened to answer the phone tells me they are just trying to organise a bus home for him either that day or Monday!!!!!!!!! Well I was just speechless as not only have I not spoken to any doctors in the two or more weeks he has been at that hospital, nor was I informed or part of any discharge plan but he was still having intrusive thoughts and very delusional!!!!!! Still a danger to himself and others basically!!!!!!!!So after I told her that he cannot be sent home as he is still too unwell.....and she tried to tell me he will always have delusional thoughts which I said was rubbish as if they bothered to read his 11th file that they have on him down there they would see that is baseline is normal, he holds down a job , has a family etc!!!!!!!I made some desperate calls to whoever I could in the hospital down there and to the head of our mental health team here who followed up on my behalf and managed to get him reviewed again.....but in that brief review they told him he would have been released that day but his partner (me) pretty much put a stop to it so he will be reviewed again Monday!!!!!!!! I then told the doctor that if they do discharge him Monday I will be taking this further as where he needs to go is into the ward for country clients where he has a minimum of six weeks of recovering to do before he will be ready to come home as he doesn't  take his orals when home just his depot and never ever has he ever been sent home unwell!!!!!!!

[Fancy_Pants]

Hi @Attahua

How are things with your husband today, any updates?

just listening to your story I want to pull my hair out in frustration 

Good on you for standing your ground and pushing back when you know its not right.

Other than listening is there anything the members can do to support you?

Take care of yourself too...

[Attahua]

Thanx but I don't think there is much else that can be done.....I am taking it further though....as it is just so wrong!!!!! He has another review tomorrow so I will know more then x

[Mosaic]

Hi @Attahua your partner is lucky to have you! It sounds like you are doing an amazing job advocating for him. Just wondering how did the review go? Hope your man is doing a little better. 

[Attahua]

The review was okay and my partner presented very well so I can understand how them spending 15 minutes with him may lull them into believing he is well enough for discharge!!!! The doc put two offers of other hospitals on the table but I said that as he is a consumer it is his right to decline and on his behalf WE DECLINE!!!! I also made it clear that he cannot come home even remotely unwell as I need to work and we do not have the resources in our town to monitor him......AND he also needs to be on an even keel with his depot alone as no point topping up with orals as he doesn't take them when home. All this was said in front of my partner and he did not argue or disagree!After all that was said and done the doctor STILL wants to meet again Tuesday to discuss a discharge date???!!!! That's fine with me.....am happy to 'discuss' it!!! She did ask how I thought he was travelling.....I asked her to give me the weekend with him and I will let her know on Tuesday as this is the first time I have seen him in nearly four weeks and I knew it wouldn't take long for me to gauge  where he is at after spending some 'face' time with him.....and it didn't!!! No sooner had we walked out of there and his thoughts were again scattered !!!! He can hold a perfectly normal conversation for a time and then it's like a switch just goes! Having said that, he has come along way from where he was but I also know his baseline and he is not there yet so in my eyes we cannot rush the process, he needs time!! I get that there is a bed shortage etc but in my eyes.....he is fortunate enough to be in one of those beds so want to keep him in it for as long as needed!!!