Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[ADLEY]

Am new to this..but seems a good place to vent..we've been together 15yrs. .2 1/2 yrs ago discover he has been hiding suicidal thoughts his whole life..GP prescribed pills which seemed to work but things went downhill til one night a year ago I got home to find him attempting suicide. .he ended up 2 weeks in Concorde hospital with a higher dose of meds ..no follow up from anyone since. I know the suicidal thoughts are still there but are controlled. .I am continually worried I will come home one day and it will be too late. Tonight I found something hidden under the sofa which scared me. .don't know if I should confront him or throw it away as I've done before..feel like walking out at times as my life is ruined but the guilt keeps me here. .sorry to go on..feels like I am not so alone with this after reading other posts.

[Appleblossom]

Hello @ADLEY

I have dealt with other people feeling suicidal and after 8 years of it ... I started to get some SI too.  It is very confronting reading everyone's stories on the forum and coming to terms with how prevalent it is.

Your partner may not have been meaning to be hurt you by it ... but it is important for you to weigh up the value and importance of the relationship ... and definitely get support.

[ADLEY]

He doesn't mean to hurt me. .I am all that stops him from suicide I think..it is so exhausting.

[Appleblossom]

That is a burden .. it is a pity he did not get good follow up after hospitalisation. 

Does he have a decent psych?

[ADLEY]

Won't go to one. .the GP and me are all he talks to.

[ADLEY]

We did get the referral for 10 sessions. .didn't follow thru with an appointment..then all the paperwork was stolen in a robbery..think it was junkies. .thought it was prescriptions..might try to suggest a psych again

[Appleblossom]

Sounds a little like my son .. it took his hospitalisation to get him to connect with professionals ... but we handled it alone together for many years.

However you are in a different relationship to him ... I have more responsibility ... your partner must know you probably need support.... and maybe that is the best argument to get him to accept help ... spread the load a little

I dont believe people really want to suicide if they can possibly find some good reasons for living ... that is not to downplay the seriousness of your concerns ...

but as his SI has been going on for so long he really needs to some psychotherapy to get a handle on the triggers

I also deal with SI.  I cant control it as it comes in the form of unwanted and intrusive thoughts ... but it has been with me for a long time and I have managed to treat it like an annoying mosquito .... it may be possible he can manage it too.  I have heard some people get over it completely.

[Janna]

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear that your partner is struggling with suicidal thoughts and still somewhat actively planning for this.  This is concerning.  I would highly recommend reading information and/or contacting https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au   They will be able to advise you on what to do and steer you in the right direction.  You need to open up frank discussions with him about your concerns and ask him directly about his suicidal ideations so that you can do an "informal" risk assessment and also make a safety plan with him.  Call them today if you are concerned for his safety.

Janna ❤️

[AlienBP2]

Perhaps meditation and a dog may help calm him down ? Is he Bipolar?.... A significant % of BPs feel that way (25% they say)

[ADLEY]

We have 2 dogs and he is a Buddhist. The dogs do help but he's not big on meditation. He grew up in Thailand I think its a cultural thing not wanting therapy. .if I could find a Thai therapist it would be useful I think