Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Partner4life]

Hi,

This is my first post i just joined today as I felt I was in need of some support.

I have been a support for my partner for the last year as he has gone through psychosis, which I wasn't sure he was suffering until bout 4mths ago.

It is definitely something I've not experienced first hand and it is even harder when I've got no one I cant talk to. There are few people that know what's going on like his parents who dont deal with it they just shut it off and try to divert the convo. So I've had to deal with this new emotional rollercoaster ride on my own. It was a long time before I could get the help my partner needed due to his refusal. This was hard financially and emotionally, not to mention keeping a face on around others and continuing to go to work myself.

Now he has had some help he's improved somewhat, still suffering from it, believes its still real.

The last day has prob been the most emotionally draining for me. It sort of felt as if it had all come to a head esp in the lack of love I receive back from him. We literally have nil contact (hand holding, kissing, even just hugs), even feel like he doesn't want to sit next to me half of the time but at the same time wants me around. This has been like this for nearly a yr, I really dont know how i have had so much strength! He does suffer from depression too which is why I've suffered on with the lack of love being felt back cause I knew he couldn't help it and hoped if I wait it out things will get better.

I have no one I can talk to and no one that would understand what its like so I thought id search for support forums in the hope that others may be able to offer me their experiences or whatever and basically just feel I'm not alone.

Look forward to chatting to some of you

[Appleblossom]

There is no way to put it nicely .. psychosis is also a serious event for anyone who actually genuinely cares about the sufferer.  Sad the his family is in denial. affection is important and I do hope you eventually recieve it in your life @Partner4life

Welcome to the forums  .. there are lots of helpful tips and good people on board.

[-karma-]

I also welcome you here @Partner4life

Sorry to hear things are rough for you at the moment 

Earlier this year there was an evening dedicated to the topic of psychosis on the forum's 'Topic Tuesday'.

i thought you might like to start here, and if there are particular comments that resonate with you, use the @ symbol before the members name to invite them back to the conversation.

Happy reading

http://saneforums.org/t5/Special-Events/Topic-Tuesday-closed-Psychosis/m-p/23390/highlight/true#M517

[Partner4life]

Thank you for your replies, it is appreciated! I will check out that link 🙂

[Zahlia]

Hi @Partner4life 

I've just read your post and I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this alone 😞

You seem like such a strong person, sticking by him through his illness, it truly is inspiring.

It must be such a strain on your relationship, I can imagine you might be feeling a bit lonely with no affection? 

I've found a few posts that you might find helpful to read (or not, it's fine either way).
This post talks about healthy relationships and This thread is all about psychosis and caring for an affected other.

Looking forward to hearing more from you

Zahlia

[VinegarTom]

Hi @Partner4life,

My partner suffers from severe depression and anxiety, so I can sympathise with some of what you are saying. Particularly with regard to the physical contact. Physical contact has reduced dramatically in our relationship and it took me a long time to understand it. After he received some talking therapy, we were eventually able to talk about it and he was able to express some feelings about it, including that he felt it just too overwhelming, that there were feelings of not deserving affection, and there were strong feelings of guilt that actually made the physical contact an unpleasant experience for him. I was able to express that it helps me to feel connected to him and to bolster my strength to continue to be a support. We now try to use a "signposting" system with affection where I will say something like "I'd like to give you a kiss, would that be ok?" and he might say "not right now, but it's ok if we hold hands for a few minutes". This has been a big help for us.