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Allinthehead
Casual Contributor

Issues with my brother

My brother has been lieing a lot lately and getting really adjitated over nothing. He always goes out at night for the whole night and he has a baby due in 2 days. He seems lost and in denial as well as gambling all his earnings. I am an ex addict and we have mental health in our family but I take medication to stop the thoughts which helps. He doesn't want to compromise and I afraid he could be too far gone meaning not wanting help...

Thoughts?
4 REPLIES 4

Re: Issues with my brother

Parenthood is one of the biggest events in our lives ... especially the first ... often men dont get as much social support or appropriate encouragement when it is iminent.  Both my brothers thought they had to make a million dollars to prove they were good parents .. one succeeded one did not ... I dont understand that mentality but I am not male ... it sounds as if he is panicking a bit .. but may not be able to hear that.

You may be right ... but it is his journey ... try and be the best person you can be and let him come to his senses if he can.

It is really hard to watch when a sibling is struggling.

make sure you keep up your self care.

Re: Issues with my brother

Hi @Allinthehead

There's a great site called How's dad going?

He might not be at a point to seek help, but maybe reading this will help you and maybe his partner. I'm not sure of your relationship with his partner or if she's noticing the same thing as you - but arming her with as much info as possible (without overwhelming a new mum) might be useful.

She might also find it helpful to call PANDA if she would like some extra support too.

I know it's only been a few days, but wondering how things are travelling now. Do you have a new niece or nephew on the scene yet?

Re: Issues with my brother

Hi @Allinthehead,

How's things with your bro? It's hard to know what's (or what was) going on with your bro. People can gamble for a variety of reasons. Some of these include looking for a quick way to make an easy buck (obviously this is false in most cases), or as a way of dealing with stress.

I can't say that I know what's happening for your brother, but I wonder if the arrival of his new baby was making him feel stressed (maybe about fiances), and gambling was an outlet. Does he/has he been gambling for a while?

 

Re: Issues with my brother

Hi, I have a brother with similar issues. He's being cared for by our mum, he lives on the same street as I do, often I feel I can't escape the burden. I have stopped contact at the moment because it was affecting me so badly. When I let him in to my life, it is overwhelming. How did you work out where to help/be there for your brother and when to step back?
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