Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[8675309]

My partner has been suffering with depression for a while last year it got so bad he had to quit his job and I have been supporting us since. He is nowhat on different medication which seems to be helping. Lately I find I can no longer find anything to be happy about. I no longer enjoy doing anything. I am trying to keep it together for him and I thought I was doing ok. But last night my partner told me that I'm a misery and I should just "end my life" or go find someone else's life to ruin. I am so hurt by this. I have supported him though everything and don't ask for anything. I do all the cooking and cleaning and when he does actually feel like going out I take him where ever he wants to go. I'm not sure what else I can do. I am finding the stress of this is causing me to have a head ache all the time. I don't know what I should do.

[Mosaic]

Hi @8675309 welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing.

I am sorry to hear about the struggles going on in your relationship lately. It sounds like you're doing your best to be there for your partner, but he is not appreciating all that you do. Those are some hurtful words he said to you, it's no wonder you're feeling so upset. You don't deserve to be spoken to like that. No matter how much another person is suffering that's not an excuse to treat others with disrespect. I wonder - Have you been able to speak to him about it since that happened, or is it still a bit fresh? Hope you can take some time out for yourself this afternoon - it sounds like you're in need of some self-care R&R. Look after yourself.  

[xorsted]

I feel a bit like a doormat as well and you know, it does make us miserable! You probably are miserable! Have you tried to do stuff for yourself. Some thing that you take great pleasure in? You need some pleasure just for yourself. You'd be doing a fantastic job supporting and caring for your husband but it can get you down. Think about what your interests are. Sporting? In the past I sold tupperware cos it got me out of the house and I loved the parties. Now I play pokemon. I love it. It's gotto be something just for me.

[Appleblossom]

Not on ... that he talks to you or ANYBODY like that, especially after your contributions to his life.

Over my life I have absorbed a great deal of negative comment. ... a lot of the time in fear ... because the other person had apparently bigger health issues than me .. so it was ... just cop it ..   In the last couple of months I have been able to say ... thats not really fair or right ... etc .. to my adult son.

Grown ups have some responsibility for what comes out of their mouths ... and shouldnt use mental illness to justify abuse .. that makes it harder for the persons who really are dealing with significant mental illness.

Take care of YOU ... and find a balance that is fair.