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Drummer1475
New Contributor

Dealing with somene suffering Schizoaffective Disorder

Hi all,

I'm new to this site and forums. I have decided to write a post as I've not seen anyone in similar postion to me and just wanted see if there are others in a similar position.

Here is a brief run down of the situation I am in and dealing with.

 - Been with my partner for 5 years now

 - Her ex boyfriend and her have a now 11 year old daughter

 - He has been diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder

 - Diagnosed only 2 years ago after breakdown at daughters school and was commited by authorities

 - only allowed supervised visits with daughter

 - was medicated for a period of time, is no longer on medication and behaviours have deteriorated

My issues are:

 - How do you deal with someone who is completely deluded and unaware they are unwell and refuses to seek help or are even aware they need it?

 - Family of the ill person do not help him at all, they prefer to bury their heads in the sand

 - My partner is scared of him and so are her family so also bury there heads in the sand.

 - I'm the only one who bothers to try and work on improving the situation but am getting tired of his abuse and deluded outbursts.

 - His daughter wants little to do with him and we have orders in place to protect her, so thats the main thing.

I'm not sure where to go from here, but the poor guy needs help and someone needs to do something for him. Until he is assised his relationship with his daughter, or anyone for that matter, will suffer.

Is there no service or way to assist those who clearly cannot mke sound decisions themselves? I'd hate to think if I was suffering from a delutional mental illness that I was left to try and make desicions for myself when it is clear I could not.

Anyway thats a brief on my current situation and any advise, help would be appreciated.

Regards

5 REPLIES 5

Re: Dealing with somene suffering Schizoaffective Disorder

Hi @Drummer1475, welcome to the Forums.  I moved your post to a place in the forums where it is more likely to be seen and replied to.  You've described a incredibly tough situation.  But not an uncommon one.  In the sense at least that there are many people in the community who would benefit greatly from treatment but who do not wish to receive it.  And as long as they don't present a significant risk to themselves or others, they are allowed to make that choice. 

Of course, 'significant risk' is open to interpretation but it's generally taken to mean a very serious and ongoing deterioration to their health and/or the intention to suicide or hurt someone else.  From what you've said, it doesn't sound as if your partner's ex sits in that category at the moment.  If that changes, you can contact your nearest CAT (crisis assessment) or PET (psychiatric emergency) team who are generally based in the nearest major hospital.  They do a phone assessment and then determine whether they are required to attend.  They can then enforce treatment - which at can involve a community treatment order requiring him to stay on the medication.

Should the situation not deteriorate to that point, it comes down to trying to help him recognise the problem and find the motivation for treatment.  Anti-psychotic medications can have some serious side effects (weight gain, loss of sex drive etc) which can make them hard to live with in the long-term.  Until he recognises that there's a downside to him not taking them (which you would think his daughter not wanting to see him is) there's not a lot that can be done.

It's interesting that others in his life are no longer trying to motivate treatment.  Does that mean they tried and failed?  If they can't succeed in their situation, I would imagine it's even tougher with the relationship you have with him.

I don't mean to be discouraging - just realistic.  Perhaps the protection of yourself, your partner and daughter - the part of this you have more control over - can be your focus.  I can see that you don't just want the situation to improve for youselves but for him also.  That's great and while he doesn't recognise it, he's lucky that someone is paying attention and wanting to improve things.  But you have little control over that part at present.

Does all this make sense?  You're welcome to give us a call at the SANE Help Centre (1800 18 7263) to talk it through.  We're open Mon - Fri 9am to 5pm.  Hopefully others will drop by with their experiences also.

Re: Dealing with somene suffering Schizoaffective Disorder

Thanks for the information Susanne,

Since making my post the impacted person has deteriorated to the point where the CA Team have been contacted and are currently looking to assist in getting them the help they need.

My main focus is and always will be my family, and to best protect them getting the ill person help does just that. I know that path is often the harder one to take, as you said it is mostly out of my control. However if I can get to a point where the illness is being treated then our life doesn't need to change to work around his illness. An overall better outcome for everyone involved.

I did manage to break through to his family and now have them realising their family member is very unwell and needs their love and support, so that's a good win. Let's hope the uphill battle subsides soon and life can go back to a less stressful one.

Regards

Re: Dealing with somene suffering Schizoaffective Disorder

That's a great outcome @Drummer1475.  It sounds like your persistence is paying off and those with more direct responsibility are getting involved.  Well done. 

Re: Dealing with somene suffering Schizoaffective Disorder

Hi @Drummer1475

Thanks for your messages. I've been reading them as well as others but my internet has been very feral in the past two weeks or so.......

AS you write: I really really felt your situation well. Oh dear: have we been there and atill are. 

I like that you see your family as your priority but can I extand this to inclusing you as well? 

There is so much you have written about that Im wondering :

If you can break it down to little bits.....I hve a lot going in in my life but will get back to you when I have re read your message okay ? 

 

Re: Dealing with somene suffering Schizoaffective Disorder

the unwell person, the daughter and family are so very fortunate to have a person such as yourself in their lives. You have done your part, shown that you cared for another human being and now you can continue on building your family life. has helped me reading this because my son has only just been diagnosed with schizophrenia and he has slipped through the cracks for years. many family members heads in the sand. Thank you and all the best in your life
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