Lived Experience Forum

[Tigga19]

Hello,

I am all of the above plus single mum to 2, working, studying and lonely.  Wondering how my life came to this.  Wishing I could turn back the clock.  Sad mostly. 

First world problems, I know.  I still have food in my belly, a roof over my head, money in my purse, running water and a bed to sleep in.  

Thankful, but still sad. 

[marchhare]

Hi Tigga19,

It is Marchhare here. One of the forumm moderators. Welcome to the SANE forums. I am glad you have posted here tonight and mentioned your issues with separation, anxiety, depression and chronic pain.

You say you have the neccessities of life but still feel sad and I am sure many forum members can relate to that. I am sure you will get some replies to this initial posting.

Take care,

Marchhare

[Tigga19]

thanks Marchhare.

You're up late too, how are you?

[marchhare]

Hi Tigga19,

I'm am moderating at the moment. I go through till about dawn Eastern Standard Time. The forums are moderated 24 hours day. There is some great wisdom and support amongst the members so I like doing it.

Marchhare

[Tigga19]

Thanks for explaining Marchhare. That makes sense. Yes, from reading a few posts I would agree with you about finding wisdom and support on here

[Mummytotwo]

Hi Tigga19, I too am feeling a lot like you at present. I just joined this site lastnight and never knew about this online forum until my social worker told me to have a look.
I have recently become seperated and now divorced from my ex, and can understand your feelings of anxiety, depression etc as I live it daily also. I also self medicate myself to numb the pain I am still going through a year and a half later. I am in anti depressants and other meds which are suppose to "make me happy", but all they do in turn is make me feel like a walking zombie and make me tired.
I tend to sleep during the day when my son is at school and then stay awake all night due to my PTSD. I am hoping to find a lot of support from this site and know that I too am not alone in this big world we live in. I'm sure with all our help we can help each other through our daily life struggles and continue to "get better" one day at a time. x

[pip]

@tigga 19. Hi, I too am separated, been on my own nearly a year. In my case, I did the only thing I could do. How old are your kids, mine are in their 40's married with children, themselves. I understand totally where you're coming from with wondering how it all came to this point. When we marry, we believe it's for 'life'. When it goes 'pear shaped' often we self blame. If I'd been a better spouse, mother/father etc. Unfortunately, we're not born with '2nd sight', perhaps if we were, we either would never marry or we would marry carbon copies of parents we believe to be perfect. I know I often reflect on my parents marriage (they're both deceased). They had 31 years, can't say blissful marriage, but they were married 31 years. I've been married 3 times, all 3 went pear. 1st hubby suicided, 2nd returned to previous spouse, this one a mama's boy. You, like most who post, have the same desires. You are trying to 'count your blessing', food, home, great kids etc, but something's missing. You want adult companionship. The position I'm in, I had a bf gave him the flick last week. I have male friends, one in particular love as a brother. He is divorced, he lives alone and seems happy, although he would occasionally appreciate female company. I live alone, yes, but I'm far from lonely. I have been getting re-acquainted with 'me' and most things I like about me, some things need work, but I'm getting there. I'm not telling you to count your blessings, you've done that. Everyone needs something or someone, once you find what you want, be it company or whatever, you will find peace in your heart. I find peace within me because of the happiness I feel. I have discovered I can be rather selfish, a bad thing if you want companionship. If you want companionship, you have to give to get. If giving proves too hard, that's when the inner battle begins.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Tigga19 😊

Just wanted to welcome you. 🌻🌼
Happy to chat. But have to get moving now. Have had a lazy morning, (needed a rest).
Now need to do chores etc.
My daughter has a day off school, so I take advantage of a sleepin.

Chat soon. 🌷🌸🌹🌻🌼

[Tigga19]

Hi @Mummytotwo @pip @Former-Member ,

thanks for replying to my post.  I would love to chat more.

My children are 8 & 10, I am in my late 40's with a degenerative spinal injury and a degenerative kidney disease.  I asked my ex for a separation almost a year ago, but I knew the marriage was over 6 years ago. 

It was my 2nd marriage.  *sigh*

[Former-Member]

Sorry @Tigga19 I just read your message and I'm so tired, I'm going to have to try and sleep now, just got into bed. Usually I'm on here more often. Chat soon. Nighty night. 😴💜 Sorry to read that you are suffering so much.