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23-08-2016 11:52 AM
23-08-2016 11:52 AM
Unsupportive Partner
Does anyone else have an unsupportive partner? I've been with my husband for 4 years, we were married 2 years ago. 2 years ago my mother fell terribly I'll & I believe this triggered my anxiety & depression. I am no longer depressed but my anxiety has been hanging like a dark cloud & causes conflicts within our relationship due to the lack of understanding of my husband. I have given him brochures from my Psychologist & I email him articles that I relate with. He can't 'fix' it so says I have to sort it. Even though I explain I don't want him to fix it, I want him to just simply support me.
Since I recognise I have anxiety, I now see that I've had it since I was a child. It wasn't until I was an adult and able to control my own life that my anxiety settled. I do remember a few anxious times but nothing like it has been these past few years. I started meds 6 weeks ago & have been feeling on top of the world again .... but in the past 2 days I feel like I did before meds. I am currently having an anxiety attack. I feel withdrawn, tired (even though I have had plenty of sleep), miserable, useless etc etc ... Hubby & I have had a huge blew because of my withdrawal. I'm tired of being this way. I want it to stop. He seems to think I choose to be this way! When I ask other people about this, they just say,my hats men, they don't understand.
PS I'm just about to see my doctor!
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23-08-2016 12:33 PM
23-08-2016 12:33 PM
Re: Unsupportive Partner
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23-08-2016 02:19 PM
23-08-2016 02:19 PM
Re: Unsupportive Partner
Thank you for your input, Pip ... You sound like you know him!!! I'm so tired of him saying I don't appreciate him!!! It's heartbreaking that the person I trust most in this world won't acknowledge or support me ...
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23-08-2016 03:45 PM
23-08-2016 03:45 PM
Re: Unsupportive Partner
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23-08-2016 07:18 PM
23-08-2016 07:18 PM
Re: Unsupportive Partner
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24-08-2016 05:12 PM
24-08-2016 05:12 PM
Re: Unsupportive Partner
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25-08-2016 09:42 PM
25-08-2016 09:42 PM
Re: Unsupportive Partner
hi i have a partner that she says to me that she has had 7 year's of this sh......t i should be over it so its not gender specific
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25-08-2016 10:41 PM
25-08-2016 10:41 PM
Re: Unsupportive Partner
An interesting issue.
How about you put things differently to him, ask him what he would expect from you if he broke his leg and was in plaster.
would he want you to help and support him by making his dinner, a cuppa, do the shopping, etc etc etc
Just because the broken leg is obvious it doesn't mean it's any worse that a mental health issue.
Ask if he would give you more support if you had cancer, an illness is an illness, you did ask for it and don't want it and you are try the best you can.
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26-08-2016 01:32 AM
26-08-2016 01:32 AM
Re: Unsupportive Partner
Support is so important. During a calm day - tell your husband what you need him to do and not do. If he's unlikely to listen - take him to your therapist with you & get your therapist to explain.
It may not be 'the fixing' he wants, but boy does it help.
Good luck with it @Xstine and @lostinspace. Partners, family members and friends should know what help you need - just the same as if you had an epileptic seizure. They can't prevent it, but they can be there for you to make sure you're safe
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26-08-2016 07:59 PM
26-08-2016 07:59 PM
Re: Unsupportive Partner
He actually said to me the other day 'I don't know why anyone would want anxiety!!!'
He has said to me he doesn't want to know about it and to seek support elsewhere.