Lived Experience Forum

[MoonGal]

Living with Bi Polar has bought all sorts of difficulties my way, when I am unwell I have acted in ways that has not always been in my best interests, sometimes hurt others (emotionally) and when I was young and full of anger and drunk also physically.  I was in and out of lock up in my early twenties, but stopping drinking at aged 28 turned my life around - although the Bi polar continued undiagnosed, I could on my good days take some joy in life. I am fortunate to have met and married a wonderful partner (now of 23 years) who has a high threshold for 'crazy'.

But this being Bi Polar has also bought with it some really amazing things, created opportunities for me and opened my eyes to the state of the world and what I might be able to do as an individual to make life easier for others. I know many of us struggle, we struggle with social isolation and are misunderstood alot. When I am in periods of wellness I also use the time to get new ways of coping and living with the conditions that make me unwell.

I do not identify in the wider world as someone living with mental ill health mostly, for my own safety - only a handful of my nearest and dearest know, and not even the rest of my family. I will speak of 'being depressed' at the moment, people seem to cope okay with that, but irritable, angry, full flight hypo manic - not so much. Runa Away they seem to say. Run away!

Having lived with Bi Polar (anxiety, PTSD) for over 25 years, but only recently (12 months ago) did I get a proper diagnoses and some helpful medication, I have spent a lot of time over the years trying to find things that 'help' me.

I have been in a state of anxiety on and off since the diagnoses, that any moment now this condition will sweep in and sweep out any gains I have made, but over the months I have come to see that now i KNOW what my condition is, I can do even more things to help myself before, during and after whatever type episode I am experiencing. I have a whole toolkit of things I have learned over the past 20 or so years of trying tolive the best life I can. I can apply tools picked up over the thin and difficult years of lived experience of mental ill health. The 'tools' are best used when I am aware of the transition from one state to the next, but also just at anytime during any state once the state is realised/seen. Somewhere in this big toolkit bag of mine is something that I can do to help myself.

One thing I use is if I feel I am ramping up into hypomania or sliding terribly into melancholia is THE SILVER DIAL. 
I imagine a big silver dial with High, Medium, Low and Off on it and I imagine in my mind's eye turning it (and thus my mood/emotion/energy level) down (or up) to midway 'Medium". I also use it too when in the PTSD moments of flashbacks, or intruding suicidal thoughts - I grab that dial (in my mind's eye) and turn it to OFF.



I am always looking out for new helpful methods, so would appreciate any sharing of things others do to help themselves that I could pack into my toolkit for future use.

[AlienBP2]

Moonshine have you tried meditation?
Check out cd by Dr Gilllan Ross on ABC
Records called "meditation for the third eye "(minds eye) There is another called meditation 2 which is the same format title but different ....have you done meditation and what was your experience?

[MoonGal]

Hi @AlienBP2 - I have tried meditation, It is a double edged sword for me, if I do not have something really concrete to hang on to I can get mentally 'lost'.  I am hopeless with guided meditations because it (may but not always) flip me into a kind of psychosis state. I am ultra-suggestive sensitive.

I do practice a form of meditation, by 'staying present' in whatever I am doing, be that walking, or doing the washing up (dishes) or vaccuuming etc. Staying in the moment and not letting my mind wander off on its own unattended. it's like a child really, gets into trouble without constant supervison. LOL!

[MoonGal]

PS: my name is MoonGal... I used to like 'moonshine' but it got me into all sorts of trouble. 😉

[suzanne]

Hi @MoonGal, such a great idea to compile all the different techniques that work for people into one place.  It can then serve as an inspiration and reminder for the times when we struggle.  @Crazy_Bug_Lady thought so too earlier this year and started this thread which she called her 'virtual coping box'.   Would you like to add yours there too?  If so, a copy and paste job should work.  Let me know if not.

I can see how having the image of a dial could be really powerful in giving you a greater sense of control.  Love that you've also included the pic

Thank you MoonGal.

[AlienBP2]

Ok just " stirring u"

[MoonGal]

Stirring unsettles the flow, AlienBP2 ❤️

[MoonGal]

@suzannethank you for the invitiation to share my 'toolkit' idea and the encouragement to perhps copy it over to the Coping Box thread. I have copied just a part of it over - the Silver Dial part. Thnaks for the suggestion. 

[CannonSalt]

Thank you for sharing the silver dial metaphor.

When I was a kidlet, someone once taught me to put my overwhelming feelings into a beautiful, shiny, soap bubble, and let the bubble float away from me on the breeze.  I still spend a lot of time 'blowing bubbles' in my mind.  The more detail I can put into visualising the bubble, the better it seems to work.  Sometimes, I combine that with the recommendation to 'breathe in happiness, breathe out anger, frustration, etc.' and use that to slow my breath. 

[CannonSalt]

Thank you for sharing the silver dial metaphor.

When I was a kidlet, someone once taught me to imagine putting my overwhelming feelings into a shiny soap bubble and let the breeze catch it and float it away.  I still spend some time 'blowing bubbles' in my mind.  The more effort I put into imagining the shimmering colours of the soap bubble and its elasticity - the tensile strength of a bubble's surface - you know how you can sometimes put your finger right through the surface of a big bubble without popping it? - the better it seems to work.

I once came across an article on this website : http://www.excelatlife.com/ about how non-MI people use strategies from CBT without even knowing that they've discovered strategies from CBT - I can't find the individual article, and some aspects of the website make me wonder if it's truly reliable (crappy design, protesting that 'I have a PHD and am an expert'), but it is a beguiling thought.