Lived Experience Forum

[SadShark]

Hello.
Im a new member although have been reading these and other forums for awhile now.
Have suffered depression since i was 17 or so had a lot of self esteem issues growing up and never really gotten on top of them.
I am now severely depressed and highly anxious. I am 29 and i havent got a grip on my life.
My relationship is in tatters, i have no house, no job, friends have given up on me, family has given up on me and im going down the gurgler.
I am on medication but its safe to say its not working or my anxiety and depression has gotten so high that it isnt even helping 10 per cent of it.

I have a 2 month waiting period on my private health insurance before i can admit myself, i dont know how i am going to get through 2 more months of this.
Lifeline and all those great helps must be sick and tired of me and feel like i have exhausted all my options with regards to psychologists and gp's.

I cant function anymore and even happy things dont make me happy anymore. Has anyone else been at this point and has something made a difference?
Thanks in advance.

[Gavinlee]

Hi Sadshark,

I'm sorry to hear about the place you are in at the moment.

firstly hand on in there for the two months, the private sector if very different from the public and they are equipped to help you better.

They can do medication changes while you are an inpatient so they can monitor you, and depending on which private hospital you go to they can offer different treatments.

Obviously I don't know where you are from, but the hospital I attended (Pinelodge, Dandenong) offer TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation), this is now becoming a major help to people as it is non invasive, unlike ECT.

But your treatment should not stop there, day groups are available after discharge and these groups can help talk about your problems and give you tools to help.

They use some mindfulness as well, and before you think omg that sounds like rubbsh, that was my exact thought too, but I gave it a go as I was in a very dark place, 18 months later here I am, feeling a lot better, life has a possative outlook and I have learned to live with today, not the past and can predict the future.

I hope this helps you in some way and gives you some hope to hang in there.

[SadShark]

Thankyou Gavinlee.

I am all too familiar with the hospital systems. A close family member originally was taken to a public psych ward and was horrible. Eventually was moved into a private facility and was heaps better. Without ect therapy that person would not be here today.

I am just hoping i can make 2 months. Seems like so far away. I am trying to think of how i can get through it. Sleeping through it sounds like the most comfortable idea at this point.

Has anyone been an impatient at melbourne clinic before? Am i allowed to ask that??

[HellonWheels]

Keep phoning Lifeline that's what they're there for. Take it a day at a time
Best of luck!

[Gavinlee]

I know people who have been to Melbourne clinic and say it's good.

Not wanting to knock any of the help lines, but I have been told beyond blue is the best.

Do what you need to do to get through the 2 months, all the services are there for that reason.

You have already taken some control by getting private insurance, please hang in there as you will be surprised at the help you will now get.

fortunatly or unfortunately I am speaking from experience, I was in ICU 18 months ago and I now look back and wonder why, life has changed so much and I have the medical team around me to thank for that.

Keep fighting, you're worth it

[Gavinlee]

@SadShark Hey, how have you been doing or the last couple of days? You do what you need to do to get past the 2 months 😀

[SadShark]

Hey Gavinlee.<br>Thanks so much for checking in. <br>Im going day by day. Its not easy but im looking forward to two months time when i have the ability to put myself in there if i need. <br>Unfortunately the old medication gets a work out but thats all that settles me during current glitches and downturns.<br>Hope you have been travelling well on your journey:)

[Gavinlee]

@SadShark Glad your still thinking possative, have a good chat with your psychiatrist about your meds, there are new ones coming out all the time.
May be try planning the basics, write a list and tick them off as you do them.
As we all know it's hard to even get started when we are suffering.
Just try getting out of bed - tick
Have a coffee - tick
Have a shower - tick
And so on.

I hope I am helping in some way and I hope you don't mind is I check in with you every couple of days.
Believe me, if I can get to where I am today, we all can, but that's a story for another day.

[Former-Member]

@SadShark

I think its great that you have got yourself some private health insurance. I too suffered from a severe bout of depression and I am slowly getting better. I've had three admissions into hospital over the last 22 months.

I am not sure what you do during the day or if you work etc. I would try to plan some of your day not every day though because I find if I plan too much I get overwhelmed by it even now but everyone is different. I think its important that you focus on your health and doing some self care. Could you schedule an appointment with your GP weekly or twice weekly until you get your private insurance.

Some things that have helped me

Exercise goals

Gym sessions

Walking my dog

Social activities (walking once a week with friends, lunch & movie outings, coffee, theme park etc)

Grocery shopping and planning healthy meals

TV and Watching movies

Going for a drive

Visiting family/friends

Running a household (mowing lawns, washing, cooking,gardening, cleaning, stocking up on supplies,paying bills, servicing equipment etc)

Downtime

Beach Walks

Doctors Appointments

Some of these activities have a specific time & schedule every Tuesday at 5.pm I have my exercise physiologist appointment). In general I try to have at least one activity every day or at least most days. And you might include something nice you do for yourself every day. Sometimes its good to break up the routine too.

You could write up a schedule for the next few weeks in your diary or just take it each day as it comes. What as helped me waiting to go into hospital was knowing I had planned activities. You could also start to prepare to go into hospital and even start to get your bag ready early. Because I know when I have gone in to hospital, I have liked to have everything done beforehand etc a clean house, lawns mowed, bills up to date, items I may need in hospital, or anything else I may need to do.

I've not been into Melbourne clinic but if you can travel there are some great clinics in Australia depending on what you need- South Pacific Private, Cairns Clinic. I like the sound of both of these clinics.

[Gavinlee]

@SadShark Hey matey, just checking in with you to see how you're doing