Lived Experience Forum

[Ilovewater]

I don't know if anybody out there is having the same trouble getting into a romantic relationship, as  I am.

I have set some goals for myself with the support of my peers and family and have acheived them.

Now I know I'm in a great place where, I love and respect myself with all my flaws and quite frankly, I am very well.

I would just love to be able to share the love with the right man. Yes I'm a lady that takes mediation for mental illness but I'm looking after myself and I believe that I can look after somebody else as well.

I'd love to hear your take on my situation, please feel free to drop a line.

[snoopy]

Hi Ilovewater.

Im Snoopy and Im a moderator here on the Forums. Firstly I would like to say how wonderful it was to read you are feeling that you are in a great place and love and respect yourself. I think that can be a battle for all of us from time to time.

My take on your situation is: if you feel ready, then go for it. If you feel you need some support, advice or encouragement in the lead up, or during the beginnings of a relationship or romance, I always encourage speaking with your health professionals.

But I think it is really important to remember that many people with serious mental illnesses have strong, supportive, long-term relationships. And there is no reason why you or any diagnosis you may live with hamper that. Just as a physical condition would not.

[chibam]

Hi Ilovewater,

I can sympathize with your troubles. I think that there's still an awful lot of stigmata out there regarding people who are "mentally ill", or even people who can be considdered "not normal" for any reason, and this can make things quite difficult for people like us who fall under those labels to meet the one we're looking for. Perhaps this is just a point of view, but I've also found that the modern world we live in seems to minimize the importance of love, often seeing sex as an more then adequate substitute. As a result, it isn't geared towards instigating nor nurturing truly loving partnerships. This makes things much trickier for everybody seeking a loving relationship, including those who are also "mentally ill" or "strange".

However, as you say, your peers and family are in your corner, and hopefully their valuable support will be able to help you in your search. You certainly sound like a woman with a lot of love to give, which is a wonderful and precious trait. There are plenty of men (or women, if that's what your looking for) who will appreciate this and are likewise hoping to reciprocate such love in a relationship with someone else, so don't give up hope. 

I sincerely hope you find the one your looking for. I wish you all the best. 🙂

[VinegarTom]

I have been in a romantic relationship with my partner for 6 years now. He suffers from mental illness which has included three hospitalisations. It can be a challenge to be the partner of someone will a mental illness but I just wanted to say that I wouldn't give up on him or this relationship for anything. Mental illness is a part of him but it doesn't define him. Even when things are really difficult his personality glimpses through and I know he really cares about me and loves me. He looks after me too, it's not a one way street. 

Looking for romance is exciting but can also be challenging. You might meet people who are insensitive and even hurtful. If you feel ready to face those situations without getting too destabilised then go for it and good luck!

Mental illness isn't a "no go area" or a "turn off" for everybody. 

[Tight-Control]

Hi,

I live with Bi-Pola and my wife with depression. Both for over 20 years now . we have just celebrated 24 yrs of marriage.  So yes love is possible . Finding someone is hard for ALL.

Look for in others what you want to give to them..

Good luck.. there are gems out there , but sometimes you have to  dig through the dirt to get to them.

Be careful but not fearfull.

may you find someone assupportive and loving as i have .

[shanc]

@Ilovewater
I loved reading your post and am happy for you that you are in a place to hopefully meet someone. Though I can offer no advise as I still can't let anyone close to me.. Especially physically.
Wish you all the best

[shanc]

One last thing. You have given me hope and want to say thank you. We can hit the town and find some guys when I'm in the same boat. . Ha ha.. or be your wing woman

[Ilovewater]

Hello to those of you out there that think having a mental illness means that you can't get into a relationship. Well let me tell you, you can! If it happened to me after such a long time it could happen to you too. Yes I now have a boyfriend! Woo hoo!

I did tell him I have a mental illness buy I haven't sat down and told him my full diagnosis yet and what might happen to me if I become unwell.

I am so happy to be in a relationship after praying for it for such a long time. It's going to be hard work, but it will be worth it. And I'm going to remember that it's all about what I can give rather than receive.

[Appleblossom]

It is so lovely to hear your good news.  Thank you.  I wish you both the best through the festive season.  We do need good stories.

[PeppiPatty]

Oh thank you for both your message @llovewater and @VinigarTom @shanc @Tight-Control @Apple who have I missed .....