Lived Experience Forum

[Moving_Overseas]

Hi There. I was dumped by my 4 year partner at the start of this year for what I assumed was no reason. I thought he was the most amazing person on this planet - although he treated me badly, I didn't want to be alone. After he walked out, I was a compete mess - I had moved to another state to be with him and now had no where to live and no support network. I soon met someone else (as you do with BPD and get all the butterflies). I decided to speak with someone as I was tired of a lifetime of emptiness, pain, substance abuse, confusion and was diagnosed with BPD. My new partner knows all about it and is so amazing. Some days I wake up and have no idea why I am with him, and push away. I am in a constant battle with myself - pushing and pulling him. I'm tired and over the roller coaster. I am very successful in my career and finding the symptoms reducing now in my 30s but everyday just pray I can be happy with him and myself. He is not your typical 'good looking' cool guy but makes me feel more amazing and relaxed than ever before. My friend and family don't accept him which makes me trigger more - it's so hard, I'm so tired but have to keep working. I hope one day I wake up happy and stay that way for at lease 48 hours. I want to stop thinking about my ex and why he abondoned me and give my new guy everything he deserves....

[Appleblossom]

I like your optimism about your relationship and hope it flourishes.  There are always issues in dealing with family & friends .. they all have to sort it out .. not you ... so all you can do is facilitate .. and keep finger crossed.

The BPD diagnosis is huge ... I have very labile feelings and mood states too .. it is hard to manage but ... we all have to keep trying ... take care .. hope the forum helps

Apple

[NikNik]

Hi @Moving_Overseas

Welcome to the Forums 🙂

It sounds like there's a lot of pressure impacting you at the moment.

Do you have someone to help you work through some of these pressures?

[utopia]

Makes me feel more amazing and relaxed than ever before. WOW! @Moving_Overseas. They are some very beautiful and powerful feelings he can invoke in you.
Your self worth has been damaged from the past. Maybe it's time to find a good therapist to talk to about this. Getting your confidence and self worth back.
it sounds like your fella believes in you. Now you need to know that you are worth him.