Lived Experience Forum

[Duck15]

I was recently diagnosed with depression and generalised anxiety disorder. I've been feeling anxious and depressed for approximatey 8 weeks now. 

I'm recieving help from my GP and a psychatrist, and now a psychologist. I know I'm taking all of the recommended steps, but still every day I wake up anxious and unsure of how I'll make it through the day. I feel anxious around my boyfriend and around my friends/family. It's a struggle to get to uni, let alone actually do any work when I'm there. I feel isolated and alone, and I just wanted to reach out and see if anyone else was experiencing the same, and how they were coping? I just want to feel better, but I know that it's probably going to take a while before that actually genuinely happens. 

Duck. 

[Mosaic]

Hi @Duck15 Welcome to the Forums and thanks for sharing a bit about what you've been going through lately. I know many of our fellow members could relate to what you've said. Good to hear you have been taking those all important help-seeking steps. It can be a real struggle to get the ball rolling with setting up that support initially, but can be well worth it in the long run.

Managing study when you're struggling with your mental health can be a real challenge. Are you currently studying full time? One thing that can be helpful is to get a medical certificate from your doctor and ask your lecturers for some extensions on your assignments if you need to. The doctor doesn't need to disclose in their note that it's mental health related, just a generic medical issue like any other. If you are finding it all a bit much, another idea is to cut back to a part-time load next semester or take next semester off entirely to focus on your mental health. Sometimes it can be helpful to make some space in our busy schedules so we can focus on getting well.

Can I ask did something happen recently to trigger the anxiety and depression?

[Duck15]

Hi @Mosaic, thanks for replying to my message.

I'm currently in my final year of my PhD, and prior to the onset of depression/anxiety I was burning the candle at both ends so to speak collecting the final phase of my data collection. The PhD journey itself has also been stressful, as I was bullied by my first supervisor, which set off a depressive/anxious episode at the end of last year/start of this year. It ended up being quite a traumatic experience, when I finally spoke up to my head of school and requested a new supervisor.

This is the second time in my life that I've experience ongoing anxiety, without being able to pin point what's actually wrong. I know that a lot of PhD students or graduate students in general experience depression and anxiety from the expectations placed upon us (and what we place upon ourselves). I've taken the past few weeks off, but also feel guilty because I'm getting behind schedule. 

The anxiety feels never ending and invetiable each day, which turns into dread and feeling like something is wrong all of the time. It makes me want to retreat from everyone and everything, but at the same time that makes me feel worse, when I'm on my own.  I feel like I'm at war with myself in my head 24/7. I think I'm also finding it hard to accept that I'm currently not well due to the stigma around mental health issues. 

[Flower88]

Hi @Duck15 I can relate to your generalised anxiety as that's what I have, I use to be a really outgoing happy person, now I'm scared to even go into the city or stay places for very long as I feel like something bad is going to happen. Because of my anxiety I suffer chronic dizziness. I'm not even 30 yet! I have gone about everything holistically and seeing a phycologist too. It does help and things are slowly getting better, but I have had to quit a stressful job and going to look for something alittle more low key.

[Nikolai]

Hi @Duck15 welcome to the community!

Anxiety can be completely crippling at times and it can take a lot of time and effort to find what works for you to reduce the anxiety you experience.

From my personal experience (Bipolar & GAD here) the antidepressant medication made me much worse before I got better and took about 4 weeks for the anxiety to settle from that. It was the worst anxiety I have ever experienced.

Like @Flower88 I am really going for a holistic approach to recovery. I have cut back from a super stressful 50-60 hour a week job to a part time job. It took a bit of getting used to with the reduction in money but I am used to it now, and after all as they say money doesn't make you happy.
I have recently realised caffiene is a big trigger for my anxiety so I have cut back drastically on that and it is making a difference.

Diet and exercise also play a part in my treatment and when they suffer I do too. I try and do some calming techniques like meditation and yoga as well. But it's all a matter of finding out what works for you. Unfortunately there is no golden rule to getting better but if you see it as a journey of self discovery it seems a lot less daunting than viewing it as a campaign of trial and error (in my opinion at least) 🙂

-N