Lived Experience Forum

[universepocket]

Sounds like an odd concept, to enjoy your depression. But something about the peace and quiet it brings makes me so content. It's kind of relaxing in a way. It's the only time where I can go semi catatonic and get away with it. Anyone else take advantage of their depression? Side note; My diagnosis is COS (childhood onset schizophrenia) and bipolar disorder. 

[NikNik]

Hi @universepocket

I don't have experience with this myself, but I know some people get comfortable with the familiarity of depression. Sometimes this can cause people not to seek help, because, even though the depression is so bad, they know what to expect - whereas seeking help can be scary and there's a lot of 'unknowns'.

Is this kinda the thing you mean or am I way off?

Nik

[Owaf]

Hiyo @universepocket,

Enjoyment? Not directly but in my late teens (decade+ ago) I went through a rough period where I shut myself from most of the world, I enjoyed the freedom of not having to deal with things and finding some form of confirmation that my negativity was right.

Now depression just gets in the way, brings me down and I don't like spending time alone with it as it drags me away to a mindset I can't survive in.

@NikNik

I wonder the same, depression (difficult to quantify it) might seem like a known commodity, a loved enemy, a consistent trusted liar, the lesser of imaginary monsters.  Enjoy seems an odd word, there seems to be something there but I don't understand it, not sure I want to.

[GonePirate]

depression noooooooooo no no no no I do not enjoy depression

but that feeling you get wherein you have been too low too long where you just shut down and go numb like you are never going to feel anything ever again and all there is inside is this crazy empty void of blankness

yeah I love that

[believeinme]

I hate everyday depression where I have to function. However, when I'm really down and in bed and have lost everything of everyday functioning (work, chores, hygiene), there's something different. I'm not sleeping, but I'm not awake. I have dreamlike meditations. I disappear. Disappearing like this is better.

[1stepup61]

Hi, I dont like the acute phase of clinical depression, but once i am on my medication and it is helping settle me, i do enjoy being by myself. i would not say i take advantage of my depression to be alone, i think its because, when i am around a busy place like shops and people, there is so much going on that my brain finds it overwhelming to take it all in, so I have adjusted my lifestyle to accomodate this. I think i like being awake at night because its quiet and it feels like the worlds asleep. I recently did a insomnia study and i realise i dont have insomnia, i like the quiet and i have got used to being awake at night. So, perhaps I am taking advantage, to avoid dealing with the daily challenges of having a mental illness. Because at night there is no visitors or phone calls at night, so no anxiety or anyone telling me what to do! Plus, I feel safe on my own, than with people! OMG, what am I saying, i stay awake at night to avoid the day? OMG!! I need to think about this!Bye for now, Stepup.

[mrkotter]

@universepocket Hey, I'm glad you can experience this. It could be a nice(?!) feeling. 

For me, depression has never been fun - my mind actually gets more crowded and when it's really bad I go psychotic. 

I am at my most calm when I just come out of an episode (either direction) and everything feels normal. I really take the time to enjoy the world then.