Lived Experience Forum

[Pulch]

I have ED.  IT's been 8 years. I would say I've 95% recovered from it.  However, there are still moments that stresses me out a lot.  My ED seemed to have got 'better' after I've started working full time - because i ahve no time to htink about food, and to control my appetite.  Such as nasty disorder, and I don't think my partner understands it when i told him that I had ED, and that I suffer from symptoms of anxiety and depression.  He would still ask me if I want to go out with his friends and some strangers for drinks.  I said no, and he got really upset, and looks like he's given up.  

I lost a few relationships because of my mental illness.  I wish I had the chance to say sorry to them for what the grief I've caused them... 

[EDV]

Hi @Pulch

My name is Julia and I am a Helpline Volunteer at Eating Disorders Victoria. Here at the Helpline we provide support, information and referrals to people with eating disorders and their families.

It's great that you are well on the way to recovery! It does take time but it will happen so keep up the good work!  It's also great that you are reaching out for help. I'm sorry to hear you are having a hard time with your partner, it can be so difficult for people to understand what it's like with ED and it must be frustrating and hurtful for you.

Is there someone around you that you can turn to for support with your relationship issues? A good friend or family member? I always find it helps to talk things through.

Bear in mind that you can always call EDV, our Helpline is open weekdays 9.30am to 4.30pm and the number is 1300 550 236. We also have an online Recovery Forum.

The Recovery Forum is a channel for people with an eating disorder (16 years & over) to ask questions to others going through a similar situation by submitting a post on an existing or a new topic, and to read answers given by others. The link is here: http://www.eatingdisorders.org.au/forum  - so please feel free to sign up and use this too.

I hope this helps! Feel free to get back in touch if you need to.

All the best

Julia @ EDV Helpline

[Pulch]

Thank you. I tried you link but it didn't work. It says page not found.

[EDV]

Hmm, that's strange! Another way to get there is to go onto our website www.eatingdisorders.org.au and under the tab  ‘our services’ click on ‘online forums’ and then click on ‘register’. Hopefully that works!

Claire.

[Alicia]

Hi @EDV
I'm trying to find out if my son (27) has an ED. He has been a fussy eater all his life and maybe it's a control issue - a way to be in control? Anyway, he lives with me and I feel responsible because I don't have the strength to cook family meals more than 3 times a week, and breakfast on weekends. However he can go for 3 days without eating and even when he must be hungry, if he doesn't like it - cooked differently to what he's used to. We share the house with his brother (schizophrenia) and another young man. My son won't eat food cooked by them. Does this ring any bells? Maybe it's connected with disassociated disorder - he's disconnected from his body? I would like to cook more and gave tried cooking in bulk over the weekend (he doesn't like reheated food) but am physically and emotionally tired having been through a lot off stuff with his brother, their father has a new family, my young son refuses contact. I teach 3 days a week . . And that's all I can manage. I can eat tuna n tomatoes or hard boiled eggs or even cereal. But he won't! Says "it's not proper good" he doesn't make cheese on toast or cereal for himself etc
I don't know what to do! He's very skinny and sometimes trembles. He went to see a doctor last year - but didn't follow up. "what's the point" he says. I'm trying again now to get him to a psychologist - but he's refusing to go. I'll look at the website you mentioned. Thanks Alicia

[EDV]

Hi there, I am writing from Eating Disorders Victoria.

It sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment and trying to balance many things, it is great that you are reaching out for information and support.

It can be terribly hard when a loved one doesn't want to be helped or won't admit there is a problem, and I wish there was an easy answer for you.

It sounds like you’ve been doing a lot for your son and he’s received a lot of good support, but unfortunately it’s just not working right now.

This doesn’t mean it will be this way forever, or that you’re doing anything wrong, but at the moment it might be best to focus on support for yourself. No matter how much you love him, you deserve some time for yourself. If you’re able to take some time to look after yourself and normalise your life as much as possible, you’ll be in a better place to support him when he’s in a more appropriate headspace to receive that support.

In terms of what we can offer, you can call our helpline to talk it out, attend one of our carer support groups, or make an appointment to see one of our psychologists. All of these services are also available to your son as well.

We have many carers resources on our website as well.

Take care and sending you and your son well wishes. 

Stacey (EDV Helpline)