Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[sybill07]

Hi

Thought I would pop this up as a discussion.

I enjoyed browsing through the various forum discussions and getting tips on how to look after yourself. Some of them (exercise, sleeping, eating well) I know I should do. Others such as keeping up wiht a hobby I try to do but difficulty focusing sometimes makes this stressful. And others such as relaxing by listening to music I find I can't really do anymore. Over the years at times of stress this has been a go-to solution. But now I can't listen to that particular music anymore as it brings up those memories. And I find that listening to music actively is too emotional these days.

I wondered if anyone else experiences a change of reactions and things that help over time? Or does it swing back and forth a bit?

[suzanne]

Hi @sybill07, that's a really interesting question.  There are quite a few members on here who find music a very powerful ally.  @Appleblossom you're the one first that came to my mind but I know that music is important to @Mazaritaand @Former-Member too.  So it will be great to get a few different perspectives. 

There was a Topic Tuesday on music therapy recently which might be interseting for you if you missed it.  You can find it here.  I wonder if your sensitivity to music would make this a more or less effective approach.

I don't have such a strong connection to music but use movies (and their soundtracks to a certain extent) to lift or mellow out my mood at times.  And my reactions to those movies can change over time.  But I'd be sad to reach a point where I could no longer use them in this way.  They are less hazardous for my health than chocolate! 

I hope this is a temporary phase for you.  What happens when you shift genres or musicians? 

[Former-Member]

Hi @sybill07

I can understand this. What I am comfortable listening to will change with my mood. I have one particular song that I can not listen to without crying at times. If I can listen and sing along I know I am doing okay.

[Mazarita]

Hi @sybill07,

I have a bipolar diagnosis and have periods where I am really 'on' with listening to music (and making it), and others where it can irritate my nerves and I just prefer to hear the natural sounds of the world. At other times I find music enjoyable in a more 'passive' way, just as a background to being on the computer, for example. Instrumental music I find can be more calming than vocal music, where the lyrics can sometimes overstimulate an already worried mind.

I wonder what kind of music you have been into in the past and what speaks to you at all (if any) at this time. I'm thinking it might be possible to explore for new music that might be more rewarding to you as you are now. The search for what you might like could be an interesting activity in itself. We change over time and clearly our tastes in music can do that too.

Sending kind wishes.

[Appleblossom]

Listening to music doesnt do that much for me any more. When I was a young adult I had a great stereo system and listened a lot, but since kids, I tend to be more active.

I advocate participation rather than passive listening.  eg singing, drumming and dancing ...

[Lucky2015]

Hey @sybill07

Yeah, there is some music like that for me too. Its just an association thing. I avoid listening to it because it is a trigger.

A suggestion:

Get a spotify (or streaming music service - you can get free ones too), pick a genre that you like, and just use their playlists. You will discover some new music that you like that you can associate new experiences with.

The say that music is the soundtrack to your life. Maybe it is time to make a new soundtrack.

Hope this helps.

[PeppiPatty]

Whwenever I listen to "Tangled Up In Blue," By Bob Dylan........I just collapse in tears......

And if I read the story..The Selfish Giant by Oscar Wilde.......I'm crying. 

I go for long times without listening to music and only listen to ABCAM or nothing.

WHat a good thread @sybill07

Thanks from PP

[sybill07]

thanks everyone!

it is an interesting thought, isn't it!

at the moment I'm adverse to classical music (vivaldi, mozart) because that is what centrelink plays.

when husband was in hospital first, i 'over' listened to madness, to the point that i just can't listen to them yet. (and that was 8 years ago! but it just brings it all back, the terror, anxiety, stress) Shame, as I really like madness.

I find it best at the moment to listen to triple r or 3pbs, something that is unusual and stimulating. can't go wrong with a bit of african, reggae or folk 🙂 but when it comes to putting on a cd, i just look at them and just go 'no, not in the mood'.

[PeppiPatty]

@sybill07 I like your messages.........

On the sites.....NightShift that @Mazarita started lots of us hang out there at night time and whats your thread @Appleblossom ?

Something about work.....

Im fulltime carer for husband........it's really twisty and difficult somethimes but I dont like him to know too much because he tries so HARD to do the right thing and he loves me very very much.

Okay, this is years after him and me knowing each other even though we are 48 years old. Yes, we went to High School together.I got married for a few years and we ....re connected at 42 years old and seperated for 1.5 years. 

[Appleblossom]

When I first heard elevator music ... Aaaagh horror.

Sometimes I wish my son would go out so I can turn up The Stones or Birds Wihout Ears or Steve Winwood and do the house cleaning ... but its been so long I cant find all my CDs ...

or worse still they are on Vinyl or cassette and the technology has changed.

Though there are a few things about people that dont seem to change: ... the need for love and meaning.

@PeppiPattyI dont think we own any threads ...