Lived Experience Forum

[Jacques]

Oh MY angel, i understand, the girls are just happy to have you home, I hope you and the girls are spending some quality time together, please spend as much time with them as possible, it has been hard on them too.

OMG Karen, you have been busy, i hope you manage to unpack today.

I know how it is Karen, just take it easy, take your time, sometimes it is better being in a structured environment, i am here if you get overwhelmed and need to talk, just be kind to yourself, you have had a tough time this year.

Take care today, my thoughts are always with you.

Big hugs. (i hope i can get my arms around your wings my angel )

Jacques

[hiddenite]

Hi Jacques
its another full on day my youngest has been punching and hitting me. Screaming and crying.
I know she is upset with me for going to hospital don't but this is full on.
I'll try and take them to the park later, see if I can get rid of her built up anxiety.

I hope your day is ok I know you normally have to go out so im thinking of you.

[Jacques]

Oh Karen, you do need to get her to manage her temper, let her yell and cry, but no hitting, it does her no good, and I am sure it is upsetting and triggering for you too. I hope you all managed some nice time at the park.

I am out for my Sunday outing, feeling low, not enjoying it, I just want to stay at home, I struggle being around people, I am very exhausted.

I hope you are ok Karen, my thoughts are with you my friend, I hope you get a break tonight. Please don't feel you need to reply, I know you are busy and tired.

Take care my angel, be kind to yourself

Jacques

[hiddenite]

Hi Jacques I know you must be exhausted and overwhelmed im just checking that you are ok.
I worry when you have to go out.
your right im exhausted my youngest is certainly
testing the boundaries.
Thinking of you

[Jacques]

Hi My angel,

Yes not feeling good, pretty low, i told mum i would be happy if i never had contact with her family again, she got upset, The more i stay at home the less i want to have to do with people, i just don't feel comfortable around any one any more, i just want to be alone, isolated, where no one knows me and i am not under pressure to see  anyone.

sorry for venting Karen, i know you have your own problems, i think i am on a down hill run again, i have been feeling down for a couple of days.  I think christmas is getting to me too, after i told mum i want to be alone for christmas she makes me go to her friends house, because she can't go on her own.

Yes Karen, i know your little one is frustrated, scared and confused, but you do really need oto help her focus the anger into something constructive, i don't know if she would be old enough, but would she be able to do looming? my cousins children do them, they are like coloured rubber bands you weave into bracelets and necklaces, i am not sure what children are into but it might be a way to focus the anger into something else?

My angel, why do i only feel happy when i talk to you, even thinking about you makes me at ease.

I hope tonoght is a little calmer for you.

[hiddenite]

Hey Jacques I knew you would be having a difficult day.
yes both girls have loom bands and make all sorts of things. My youngest just needs to manage her anger. I gave her a massage before she went to bed to help settle her.

im feeling so lost. Everything is done for you in hospital it really hit me hard not being in that environment.
I've become so unfit it was only two weeks but just walking is exhausting and takes so much energy.

im glad I can give you a little relief. I feel the same j I love talking to you.
just knowing someone understands. .

I wish I could isolate myself and never have to deal with anyone again. I don't see good in anyone they all have their own agenda they all want something. Take care

[Jacques]

yes you are right, it always seems to be triggering for me, sundays now, i get panic attacks all morning before i have to go, i am so tired now, just from the mental and physical symptoms of the anxiety.

Oh ok, i thought it might be a way to distract.  sorry Karen, i don't know what kids like or don't like, it has been 20 years since i have been around kids, so i don't know much about them and what they like.

Good for you Karen, i am sure with your help she will be able to control her temper.

I know my angel, it is tough, i know what you mean, my feet almost feel like i have 2 cement shoes on, even moving in a chaire is exhausting for me now, i have no energy at all, i really have to push myself to do anything.

Sometimes i wonder if i would ever function in the real world without mum doing everything for me, i don't think i would cope.

Thank you Karen, i knew you would understand, i like you so much just the way you are, please never change for anyone.

I agree, i can't see good in anyone either, everyone is so angry and hateful, it really scares me.  yes, every friend i have had, has used me for something, that is why i find it so hard to trust anyone.  i only trust you Karen.

[hiddenite]

Thanks Jacques i would never do anything to hurt you or break your trust.

you are too important to me.

Please take care if yourself tonight

[Jacques]

i will try, but i think it is going to be a long night for me, i am feeling so low.

Thank you my angel, please get some rest, hope we can speak tomorrow, please remember i am their holding your hand, no night terrors tonight please. you are safe now.

Night, night, please be kind to yourself.

Jacques

[hiddenite]

Lethal weapon is on tv channel 9 WOO HOO