Lived Experience Forum

[eth]

@Mazarita  I just edited that last post at the same time as you posted.

I'm muddling along, still mostly somewhat depressed with bouts of anxiety.  At least I've started sleeping better since about 2 weeks ago.  Just having a quiet day at home today.  Had a relatively busy couple of weeks so I was really looking forward to some days at home.

[Mazarita]

@eth, great about the sleep. Nice one with the quiet day. Me too now. Do you feel like sharing what happened with psychiatrist? I'm okay with whatever you decide either way but am interested.

[eth]

@Mazarita with the psychiatrist we went through several months of what's been happening and at the end of that he said he doesn't think I've been having bipolar mood swings, but rather a lot of anxiety problems that leave me depressed afterwards.  His solution - put me back on an antidepressant.  I'm extremely reluctant to do this as I've had extreme mania from several different ADs tried on me in the past.  So he said lets wait til next time to decide.  I feel somewhat disillusioned about the whole process.  

On a more positive note I've now seen the psychologist twice and we are going to focus on methods of dealing with different kinds of anxiety.  Some of it is post traumatic and some of it is general (but fairly extreme).  She's easy to talk to, listens well and I find her responses easy to understand.  I have a lot more confidence in the process with her.

[Former-Member]

Hi @eth,

good to see you,  I've been wondering how you are going. I hope you're time away has been therapeutic for you. Us southerners have all been shivering our bums off here whilst you were gone so you haven't missed much. Have you much on for the rest of the week?  😊💜

Hi @Mazarita, 

Saw your piece this morning and really wanted to reply but I was quite out of control and you would have had some strange garbled mess. Like you, I've just had my weekly phone call from mental health team and it helped to calm my farm. Your post raised so many questions from me for you and me both. ’it's my life' really struck a chord this morning. So I guess my thoughts for you were what would you trade having the boom and bust time in for because it seems to bring you so much fulfilment and then just need to recover for a bit. I actually think that it's pretty amazing that you have the space and skills and ability and you use it to your full potential. Anyway i just wanted to say that the other goals you are aiming for in your life will slowly emerge and subside over time but what makes you you is the passion and drive to create and your ability to connect with others through your words and video. To me this is pretty awe inspiring. Im really glad you got to go to the beach.😊💜

Hi @Faith-and-Hope, 

i hope all is going well with your father in hospital, thinking of you and sending best wishes😊💜

Hi @comet,

i hope you are still enjoying your high from yesterday 😊💜

Hi @Decadian,

Sorry I haven't replied to many posts from yesterday afternoon, I kind of crashed. I'm glad today is so much better than yesterday for you😊💜

I seem to be having a really hard time staying even at the moment and I really don't know what is going on so I'm sorry if I'm all over the place. There is a chance hormones are having a laugh with me too right now. 

[Former-Member]

Sorry @eth @Mazarita  I just interrupted your conversation. 

@eth, it seems like the psychologist is working well which is really nice to hear. Perhaps you can wait until you can see wait re the antidepressants. 

pS i meant to add at least you know what is likely going on for you. Has that helped knowing?

[Mazarita]

@eth, that's so great with the psychologist and sounds like you have already decided to proceed with that rather than go on the anti-depressant. With the psychiatrist, time will tell how that really goes. It does make sense what he says about anxiety triggering depressions afterwards. It is a very difficult call for you and him both about the anti-depressant issue. As you know, psychiatrists mainly have the medications to offer and often not a lot else. Given that there aren't any other medications to really help depression, it's a bit of a double-bind you are both in there. 

@Former-Member, thanks for your lovely reply. I will respond more fully in a separate post. 

[eth]

@Former-Member  No worries about joining in.  To be honest knowing what's going on hasn't helped - too soon for anything to have changed yet.  So far it's just been filling them in and trying to make plans for the course of therapy.  Seeing them both again in 3 weeks.

How are things going for you? 

[Mazarita]

@Former-Member, same here, glad to see you, no worries about joining in. 🙂

I'm actually still very tired and need to take a break from conversing here at the moment. Will get back to you about your lovely post, @Former-Member. Great to see you back @eth. Hope to catch up again soon. 

[Former-Member]

@eth, I guess your right and probably feel a bit in no mans land right now. Did you feel ok with the psychiatrist, was he ok? Just wondering if it went ok but just not the solution he offered.

[Decadian]

Hi @Former-Member

Yes - I am much better this morning - I fell asleep watching TV - I hate that - it is not good for my spine and I was still not ready to eat after my headache - but when I get back from the hairdresser I will eat - for sure - I am hungry today

When I am going through a stress attack though - grief day - whatever - I cannot see my way out - but I think that I get out of it unconciously - because I have done it so much before

Life Line tells me I am strong - I don't feel that when I have crash and burned again - I know it will be okay - I attend to my life - pay my bills and eat properly - even hit the shower everyday - (and I know it's not a disaster if I miss one because the tap would not turn - or explodes)

When I am in the middle though I don't understand why I am being told I am strong - I don't get it - I will be in the middle of a sodden-tissue wilderness feeling I didn't do enough

How can anyone who doesn't know me know if I am strong. Is that a brush-off?

I causes me anguish to be told "At least.........."

I don't want "At least........." - I just want to find my way out - I guess overnight I did

And I love getting my hair shampood and cut - and I can happily have "At least I can have my hair cut today" - today "At least....." is okay

Perhaps we should have an "At least....." thread

Decadian