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Re: Night Shift

The picture isn't showing yet @Mazarita but will see it later.

Re: Night Shift

@eth, Night night, thanks for the chat and hope you sleep well. Smiley Happy

Re: Night Shift

Her work is gorgeous @Mazarita

Re: Night Shift

Hi @eth, glad you like. Didn't make it to the Phams event today, support worker is coming here later instead. Probably won't get to the library either. This is what tends to happen when I make too many plans (almost like a jinx). Not sleeping in the middle of the night until about 6.30am didn't help. I'm a bit manic in my head and nervous system at the moment. Feeling okay aside from that. How about you?

Re: Night Shift

Hi @Mazarita I've been a bit down since the kids left and the house feels so empty.  Glad to hear you are still seeing your Phams worker today.  Can you channel the extra energy into your creative project?  Or even do some colouring or something.  When I get that way I cook a lot or just spend time looking up recipes and planning shopping for them.  Hasn't happened for some time though.  Since I've been on this med combo I only get the mildest hypomania and even that is rare.  I do miss the creativity but I wouldn't risk playing around with my meds to get it back.  I keep telling myself it will come in time.

Re: Night Shift

@eth, it's understandable that you would feel something of a let down after having much loved visitors depart. Are you still thinking you will dig out stuff stashed around for your grand-daughter's visit? Maybe recreating/reorganising your space just fas you like it might help a little. I understand though that doing stuff might not be easy for the time being. (((hugs)))

The manic energy I have is really brought on by the creative stuff. It's so rewarding but also charges up my nervous system a lot and I've been into it fairly intensely since arriving home. I really need some chillout time I think and chatting here is helping. 

Re: Night Shift

It's good that you have the insight to realize you need the chillout time @Mazarita.  If you were more manic you might not be able to take that time so it's a good sign.  Maybe it would help if you could set a time limit on how long you work on that project each day, and not do it at night if it's stimulating you so much.  Chatting on here is helping me too.  

Re: Night Shift

@eth, you are right that I'm probably overstating it when I say manic at this time. I have been seriously manic in both how I felt and how I acted in the past and these were crazy times during which I was like an unstoppable express train. That was before I was diagnosed with bipolar and received better medication. How it is these days when I get what I call 'manic' feelings is just very wired up and charged nervous system and mind. It's probably more a mild and well medicated form of rapid cycling I experience, going up with the creative activities and down from the strain of that on my nervous system. But I'm not that precise with the terminology of bipolar really.

It's great to hear you feel the medications help you to keep the real mania at bay, even if the creative side of you seems to be blunted. One thing that came up with my psychiatrist some months ago was that I believed I had lost the ability to read because of anti-psychotic medications. At the time he stated that he thought it was more because of my depression than the medication. I was dubious about this at the time but since then I have come to believe that he was right about that. I wonder if it's possible that this is a factor in your loss of engagement with creativity. I hope it does come back to you soon as. Despite the somewhat out of control way I engage with it all, I find it a great lifeline in terms of finding meaning in my existence. 

 

Re: Night Shift

@Mazarita what you have described might also be what is called 'hypomania' - it's still on the up side from being in the middle but much milder than full mania.  I do still get it sometimes.  You might like to google for a definition.  I get what you are saying about finding meaning in your creative work and it's way better to be that way than flat and unmotivated in my experience.  Again, you are showing you have insight into what's happening.

Re: Night Shift

Thanks @eth. You have such a lovely way of writing. The things you say read as so calmly articulate and kind. It makes me wish I could meet you in real life. I think I'll take from writing here in a moment and do some domestic tasks, for a bit of grounding. Plus I need to do washing for some clean undies, lol! Thanks for our chats. I enjoy them so much. 🙂

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